To all the couples I have known or met – the engaged , married or the lovers;
I am sorry.
I am sorry to question why you would not find time for me.
I am sorry to think that you “have” no time for any one except yourself and your partner.
I am sorry to assume you have no need for other friends.
I am disappointed with myself I wanted to mention but then how was i supposed to know what it is to be linked so with another person.
Having said that, I still do not understand why I still want to get away at times.
I want him to be around but also be on my own sometimes.
I want to meet people who do not know him or talk about so maybe I can tell them about him.
I want to try things we both do not know about or like much.
I want to know the world from eyes and ear different from mine or him or ours.
I love him and i can not say it well or enough times every day but I still fear losing myself within ourself or finding him lost same way.
I need things and people to talk about when I meet him and not just go over our shared experiences.
So, yes I am sorry to judge without bias.
But I am still glad I have friends who have helped me not to be like some of you.
PS : That gets me to another realization. Few of my friends have been assuming I am too busy or occupied to meet them. Now this post might never reach them but to every one reading this, I hope you keep your friends close and never lose that touch with anyone you met before your partner came to your life.
I dream of walking on a beach,
hand in hands with you,
picking shells at random,
watching their design blend
in the sand that sinks
beneath our feet,
aware of your sweet scent,
and your breath on my skin,
I walk into the water,
yet i feel the flames
in each glance you throw;
we devise new ways
to play same tricks together
giggles for kisses,
smiles for hugs,
as we part …
each tomorrow richer,
each yesterday a lesson;
you lead me into love
and into passion you draw me;
flexibly bending my doubts
and turning into a wealth
i feel I own,being with you.
Prompted @ OSI , sunday scribblings , Sunday whirl
am just an amateur dreamer,
creating images in head
and sticking to them as i sleep;
diligently I hold, to this activity
nurturing it night and day
with enough words to paint
a time when I sleep and wake
in your arms,your smile on my face.
I see her standing at the platform, half hidden by the corner pillar; her left foot tapping to the song playing on her Ipod, looking nowhere in particular but everywhere. For a moment, our eyes meet and we smile. she turns her look away almost immediately as if hiding from me as I keep staring at her elegant and almost attractive features. Noticing all possible visual details about her, I try hard to remember her but in vain. Every name that pops in ym head is negated by the playful smile she has on her face as if enjoying the trouble she has given me. She once more looks at me from corner of her eye and looks at the incoming train for an excuse to look elsewhere.
He comes out of the train and as if she was already aware , she picks her stuff and hurries to meet him. Taking him in her arms she beams like a child who has got an extra candy during lunch time. she whispers in his ear and he looks at me with one of the most heart breaking smile. And that’s when I know who she is. I used to be her some years back ; She used to be me that time. My future baffled at my present ; My present hiding from the future ME.
I see them walk past me with a knowing smile. I miss those days. I miss him. I miss myself. Andhere I stand , awaiting for another chance perhaps.
In unknown lands that do not feel that way , She sat wondering about herself and what led her here. He paced in the room without reason, occasionally looking at her and nodding in approval. He knew not why he was there with her, more importantly, why she chose to bring him along on this journey.She smiled at him, as if reading his thoughts. He finally gave up all his thoughts and joined her in bed. Collecting her in his arms, he kissed her forehead.
“This is perfect.” she whispered to herself.
“you really think so ? You do not even know me” he laughed lightly and hugged her close.
“I know your words , and my words know you.”
” One can not live off words these days”
“Can you not ?” , she asked with disbelief.
“You look determined to prove me wrong”
“We’ll make believe we never needed any more than words”
“or this” he finished her sentence, like they been doing from last few months.
“yes, we only need us and our words”.
He smiled at her grin. She grinned further finding the love in his eyes.
For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week, Cheney challenged me with “We’ll make believe we never needed any more than this.” and I challenged Steffani with “will the room cease to exist, if there was no wall ? Or will it become a larger room. Will he like that, I wonder”
Some one asked me to imagine being on a star and be able to see all and everything in the universe. Not the inhabitants, but everything else. No one asks such questions these days, not since some one last asked me, where would i want to visit in my dreams. So I was out of practice when this question was asked. I replied, I want a sparkling neat and calm river, trees of coolest shades, grass of softest green and flowers of all shades, and ofcourse night time to last always. Darkness studded with golden lights and filled with air that shimmers as I move. A lovely corner set up with books and chairs for myself to spend my time.
And I deliberately skipped having a small lake with rocks beside it. I thought of having not to live alone but with some one who loved me, but did not say. I wanted to have a kitchen to myself and all fresh vegetables to cook each night, but I knew I would not like that alone. I wanted to have a velvet bedspread to lie down next to you and make images from the stars. I would love to have a glass dining table with just two chairs. I want pen and papers abound to scribble such fairy tales together and leave them for the winds to carry to far off places. I did not say all these, for I was scared to want more than I deserved. Even in my dreams.
Dreaming all that felt so normal. More than I knew. Maybe it was ’cause you only asked me this question, Something normal people do not !
The only dream of a different world i ever had, was to live with the one i loved [ or so i thought] And so the “new world” always brings these feelings to surface.
It was a silly dream i know living together forever love would never have grown It was a silly dream i know Seeds of new world i did sow now weeds it though gather It was a silly dream i know living together forever.
living together with you It was a silly dream i know not even a weed to hold to living together with you some facts are as untrue as the challenges they throw living together with you It was a silly dream i know
Seeds of new world i did sow though no hope i ever had love would never have grown Seeds of new world i did sow It was a silly dream i know i wish it was better dead Seeds of new world i did sow though no hope i ever had.