Some S.O.S calls are bizarre just for the fact that you never made them. some times you stand at a point in life, like at an empty booth and pretend to make a call to random stranger. You tap on the smudgy side glass to check if some one noticed you and feel both good and not. Good that no one would call you a fool and sad that the hopes to get some one to talk would be lost. Ghosts of your restless wishes seep through your sub-consciousness and without realization you make a call to God.
I might have made one such call, when I met him. silent and reserved, he was unlike any friend I ever had. Attentive and sensitive were some of the other words I would later describe him. A smile to fall in love with and words to die for. A friend I dare say I did not deserve , some one I never expected to come across even.
When you meet friends, we talk , and talk more and talk till we depart. We share stuff , we hide some, we smile more and cry so less. I had always known such friends. And they are one of the best. But little did I know even silence had a way among friends.
Nestled between insane talks and crazy stories , silence like shadows lined the street we walked. For fun, we faced the scorching heat of summers and challenged each other to slide on the ice grounds in our make-believe world. But often found ourselves staring curiously at the world and shrugging it off with carefree laughter.
Once some one commented on having a friend with whom she doesn’t have to always talk. I found it amusing as well as a challenge to be such a person. Today I realize i have found that friend in him. I never have to worry what next to say to him, what next to expect to hear. Never am I in a hurry to tell him my stories neither does he hurries his narration. We remain silent and engaged in our own task, without a care. This non-compulsion to speak is something I value the most with him. nothing I say around him or do, makes me feel odd or even him I suppose. This is indeed a new experience and one I will cherish forever.
thank you god for such a wonderful friend.
thank you dear friend, for making of such valuable memories.
Today I had a fight with dad. Ok, I might have been at fault since I did not explain my stand clearly to him, but that is not the point here. He yelled a bit, and when I acted like a brat, he simply disconnected the call. He had sense not to let me make a bigger fool of myself. Something I will never forget for long. I felt so ashamed. He had never refused to hear me, be it any time or about any thing. And I could not do that for just a min. Why could I not keep shut that moment ?
And worse, As always, I innediately launched into a self-pity mood. I started feeling that nothing is going right today or this week infact. how I could be doing better, or why I deserve a better life. Not realizing, I do have a better life today than yesterday or last month or last year. Each day is better in some way, even if it is only for the fact that you realize you have a chance to make good of your life.
Thanks to a dear friend to kick me out of this mood with her harsh words. I totally deserved that.
Dad, I know we both are part wrong, part right. But I swear, I will not lose my patience so soon ever again.Not with you, not with any one who I know has onyl my good in mind.
To Myself, I promise to use my energies not to suck but to get up and get moving. As my friend said, use every negative emotion to make you work for removing that obstacle.
Even with brush of sadness,
A pretty picture you can create
if you remember colors reflect
what you in your heart wish to paint.
Each morning when I wake up, I do not thank God for the wonderful day he blessed me with. I instead check upon my emails , text messages and tweets. As I go about my day, I think of God once in a while – to crib , complain or an occasional thank you for setting something unexpectedly right for me. But do I thank him without a cause ? Oh, I remember I do. when I sit back and contemplate what is wrong with my life. And as I sis to find ways to fix them, I say to God, Oh dude, you gotta help me with this. Please !
I have a lot of questions to ask, and a lot of answers to share with him. I totally believe in “everything happens for good”. I have lived this epiphany a lot of times in the last 10 years. And yet, when I need to cry , I must and I do. No reasons or excuses given to any. When I am upset , I just am. No reasons or excuse small or big enough to justify my sour mood.
I am not perfect – oh I am far from it. But I try.I try hard. And all that I wish is God to see through those tries and trials and keep me safe and blessed.
I hope you will forgive me not praying daily.
I hope you know I love and respect your words a lot but I fail to follow them always. I hope you keep loving me the same as today. And last, I hope you keep all these hopes alive in me, as long as I live.
Bless me !
Bless all !