So this is how it is,
to feel forgotten,
to exist not in reality
but just random pics.
trying to define yourself
and failing at “human”
coz you are not being
the way you wish to be.
others see you
through you, you feel
judge you for expressing
your simple needs.
Four years in a city
and you still are a stranger,
out of your silent alienation.
one anchor you got
to not let you drift apart,
to keep you rooted to self
and gaurd your careless heart.
hold on to yourself
and believe you still are special
for everyone has a battle to fight
you be the hero of your part.
In bits of nature
Lie the true meanings at times
The gingkos hold life
Why do i have questions
That all begin with why !
Why to prove yourself
In some one else’s eye ?
Why do i feel inadequate
To be a good friend or wife
Why are there no assurances
Why oh why !!
Why do these thoughts haunt me
Not of how , but only the whys,
Why can i not focus on solutions
And rather i preferably cry,
Why this need to be best always
Not the satisfaction that I tried,
Why dont any answer make me forget
All these whys !
Not just being polite to people nice to you,
Or letting different people be the way they are,
Not only by refraining your judgements on others,
Or letting the goodness prosper within your heart
These make you not really an ideal person
These free you not from further improvement,
It does not mean your flaws are covered,
Or that your life has found the desired purpose
Can you be silent when a friend yells on you
Without a mistake or bother for the truth?
Can you accept with grace , people who shine more
And strive to be just you , but better than before
Can you admit to yourself , when you are wrong
Or accept being misguided by your own thoughts
Can you bear the critics , without a defense
And silence them any day, without being on offense.
You can not stop learning , or working on yourself
If you consider this not being gentle ,
I declare i can not be so for myself ever,
Only death can free me, or end of my writing.
I introspect , i reflect , only as i write. And thisbis what i have been thinking from few days. Lots to learn and lot to change in my ways.
She knew a bit of everyone’s story. but this exchange had a price. she lost so much of her own peace and innocence. The flower that she blossomed into was not of her vision. The fight of who she was and who she wanted to be, caused her silent death.