Goodbye 2015 – part#2

The weekend just flew by ( and a long weekend it was ). While the first two days I tired myself meeting relatives and friends, today I was put to my place by my health ; in the bed most day.

So I thought if the good and bad of the year , whatever I could recall. Iwatched less movies , I cooked even lesser times on my own , I read quite a good amount, had some memorable meets and vacations, walked a lot ( in the last month atleast ) , moved to a new place and made some good changes felt at my work place too. A much happenning , exciting and happy year. And i do add my operation in the blessing in disguise sort of thing since It has warned me how muh I need to adopt a healthy lifestyle and sooner too.

As for the plans for the next year , If I try a little i might find my previous year’s resolutions too some where. So let us keep that off for another week. Instead I do wish and hope for always remembering to be thankful , be hopeful  , a little more kind that I want and to say a little less of whatever comes to my mind. Here’s hoping for a wonderfully blessed year with new skills , friends , memories to cherish and always with good books to read and collect.

May god bless you all with your desires and demands ;)

Goodbye 2015 – part#1

This is not yet a post where I reflect on the year gone by and list the good and bad of it. It is also not yet the time and moment to sort the lessons from the mistakes or make different section of the people you met or let go. This is more about how I want to do all this. How to properly send off 2015 into the portals of my mind wjere it is saved and remembered well for the right reasons.

The first thought was to go alone on a journey and as the cities are left behind, I tick of all the months and weeks of the year gone by. Since that is some luxary I can not afford at the moment ( my medical leaves last month have left me with neither time nor health to travel far ) , I thought of alternatives. The motive is to be alone and relaxed enough to be honest , be objective , bit harsh in scrutiny and kind on yourself equally. The idea is to aporeciate the goodness of life , goodness in yourself and whatever iota you got from people around you. And lastly, the task is to decide what to leave behind in this year itself – mistakes , people , negativity and memories too.

So I thought of having a date with myself next weekend – coffee ,  a diary , a planner for next year and lastly a goid walk alone to reaffirm my proMises and plans.

How are you going to say goodBye to 2015 ?

Without goodbye

Goodbye
If someone left without saying goodbye –
Would you be sad, would you cry?

Would you hope for them to call
or know in your heart
they are never going too far;
would you wish for reunion some day
or treat the silence
like a pause in the game;
would you question their return
or rather spend time
gathering the gossip till they come;
would you worry about being forgotten
or accept the absence,
the dejection and the confusion;

If someone left without saying goodbye –
Would you be sad, would you cry?
Or simply whisper to yourself,
this story ended too soon,
there must be some chapter
you got to re write.

The first two lines of this poem are from another poem from the book I am currently reading : When our worlds collide. It is a beautiful story of a young girl trying to understand love and friendship. I like the author for the fact that she is a good poet and so there are poems always an integral part of the story.

I am linking this to dVerse prompt for the week.

Image source

Updates.

So , from last 4 years , I hosted Dec writing challenge where I asked people to sum up the year gone by. This year I had no intention of doing that ( no idea why ) but I sure wanted to revive my blog before the year ends.

A quick update on the last month is that I spent first half of it being sick and the last 10 days recovering from a minor surgery. I am lot better ( and a little lighter ;) ) from the food my mom been feeding me. and if that is going to be the trend for next 45 days , I am sure I can finally lose some inches :D

Another reason I wanted to revive the blog was to write – anything and almost everything that comes to my mind. hopefully , you will see some random yet sensible posts till I gain more confidence and readership :P

Finally, I hope I will visit and read all you awesome people I follow.

More laters !

Stay blessed.

PS : I actually logged in to check out the WP snow balls :D
PPS: I love them.

Myself

This post is about me and only me. I figured its high time I did something for myself. Lets start with a post about me. The blog should know what I am upto.

So I am upto nothing right now, I did earn my PMP ( Project Management Professional ) this month *yippee* and studying for that kept me so away from everything that I have no idea how to get back to blogging or just writing or anything remotely creative.

Moving on, today is Karvachauth , the day north indian ladies keep fast all day for long livety of the husbands. It is a day the ladies dress up the best , pamper themselves, celebrate themselves. Everyone around me felt like putting in some time in dressing up and making themselves look special. All I did was wear an ethnic dress today and got mehandi on hands. I thought of many more things to do but even with lot of help from husband all day with cooking , I never thought of anything special for myself. Its like I needed some one to remind me even to dress up and look beautiful. I wonder why I have no interest to look better , to pamper myself or to do things for myself. I need not just mere suggestion but almost have to be forced into doung that. Or an order from my mother-inlaw ;)

So the next goal is to be better health wise and look better other wise. To spend time on self , with self and to learn to appreciate myself. * phew ! Tall order *

And to write more here. Keep reading and commenting. Might inspire me to write more.

Friends forever

“You will always be special to me.
You will always be my friend”

There was a time when these two sentences did not mean the same to me. They just did not belong together unless you were talking of a life time together perhaps. Well in my defense, i was naive and barely a toddler in the universe of love and friendship. I thought I wanted a lover while I needed love of a true friend. And perhaps this battle of need and want is what pushed my first friend , soul sibling and mentor away. Everytime I read of kanha and draupadi , i think of you as my saviour when I needed most. Not once but Everytime I was alone. How do you even begin telling about some one who shaped a lumpy , thoughtless 22 years old brain and nourished it with sunshine. Funny that i got my first nickname “sunshine”. There came many a friends and loving souls since then but there is that pedestal that you just can not be moved from. All the love I have today , a wonderful husband and amazingly fun friends ; and yet there is a hope that one day I get to share this happiness with you. That you and me have one last coffee date and I get to show this post to you. 

You might wonder why this post , such thoughts. Maybe you will remember its my birthday in less than 5 days and its obvious I will start with thanking and thinking about the one bond that taught me to let go of my inhibitions. Today I can say I loved you. I love you still and want that comfort again, where you oppose every decision of mine and yet secretly celebrate my milestones. Having been in and out of friendships over the years , I know my love , i know my place. And I know my blessings.

God bless souls like you.
God bless me with friends like you.

Life changes

Changes are routines
we have grown numb to,
one day the goods reach us,
the sealed goodbye letters.

Some feelings left behind,
never the memories though
some dreams are packed away
making space for new goals.

The guests are all gone,
the audience cozy and unaware,
I pull into my last reserve
I have a reputation to take care.

I write
I reflect
I care
I am here.
Always.

Someday

Sometimes you have stuff to write, but not to write about. Its like this huge craving to read your own thoughts and yet not reveal anything going inside the head. To look around at stories happenning, and yet be selfish enough to hide from them. What if they wanted to be written and passed on ?

Someday, i will surrender.
I promise.
Someday soon i will revive this page.
This bond with words and all of you who still keep in touch here.
Someday I will be back to your world.
To your blogs.

Drifting away

Here and there
Pieces of me
My dreams
Wishes so silly
And possessive
Friendships.

I let them all go
Imagining to be
Feeling light and free;
But its not that way
Not even a little,
I have let go of me.

One direction, one focus,
A chance to make it happen,
Lost in the maze of life
Swinging on moods,
Am happy one second,
Pensive one night.

We all are loved
And more we all give
Does it matter i wonder
Or Another hollow promise
That we beleive
In order to live.

I want to not think
Of the corner i stand in
Using darkness to hide
From shadows of hopes
I had raised for myself,
I need to drift away, today.

Blush

A compliment that is true,
For the process I went through
In picking the right attire
And the colors and the moods,
The pink from husband’s kiss
And the peachy freshness
Of the confidence from the mirror,
The faith in my thoughts
And the beauty of my heart
Reflected on my cheeks
Made me blush, even writing this.