#MyFirstExpert – Of self defense and protests

Being a girl, the first thing everyone around you teaches you is to cover yourself , to walk properly , to stay away from strangers. As much it is the need of hour for both girls and boys , the fear , the Do’s and dont’s , the restrictions is always a little elaborate for the females.
My brother was born 10 years after me. And by then my mother had another 6 years old daughter too. She gave us our first education in good and bad touch , when to be alone and comfortable rather than be with certain people , how to dress , how to behave and to report everything to her every day.

Though I can recall one or two incidences where this education failed me and I was too ashamed to tell my mother about it , what kept my wits intact was that my mother never once told us that it would be our mistake if someone behaves bad with us. She always told us to be strong and talk about it instead of hiding out of shame.

We never would have adopted this lesson if she had not done the same when time came. Our neighbors had a college going girl who went to study at a teacher’s house. One day she came home , almost in tears and refused to go back to the teacher. My aunt and mom understood the cause and both made her sit calmly and then got out the whole incident out of her. The teacher had tried to flirt with the girl and perhaps held her hand when she decided to walk out. The girl’s mother wanted to wait for men to come home and deal with the matter. My mother on other hand was on the gate by then to settle this herself. Both the ladies went to the teacher’s house and in front of his family , scolded him for his actions. My confidence and respect for my mother and myself doubled that day.

We wanted to go for walk alone, she would give is a stick to beat anyone who dared come closer to have a feel. We went out for late night shows, he would ask about the guys with us and made us call her at 3 am to tell we had reached our PG. I would ask what to do of someone in bus tries to misbehave and she would tell me to yell on him and get seat changed immediately – his , not mine. The first time this happened and I came home complaining about one such man, i got a told in simple terms that I had lost the right to complain for i did not fight back.  In small gestures she taught us self-defence is as important as to fight when it is the only way out.

At the same time we got the lessons from her to ignore barking dogs for they suck your energy that can be better used to do awesome things. Even at the age of 50 , she has the fire to slap a 20 year old guy who dared to touch her inappropriately and that is so amazing for her to do by making the auto stop, get down, pay the driver and then turn to give one slap to the guy. Then she coolly walked away carrying her bag. She doesn’t go all crazy on us nor advises us to act in rage. She has made us and even my brother learn to stand on our own and be fair and safe always.

Today I realize her lessons and beleifs have helped me stay sane in middle of so many crisis and attacks from some crazy people around me. I owemy independence to my mother who never for once thought that her girls need protection. She knew we needed confidence and strength and that we got in our genes from her a lot.

This post was written as part of a contest for Godrej Expert :  http://godrejexpert.com/single_used_pack.php

Loving and telling about it

Over and over again , I know end up poking Yogesh and my best friends for compliments . While it is not just for a new dress or poem or something I did that day , I admit that I want to be told I am loved and accepted by them , no matter the flaws I have. Some people just accept the love in their life without questions and doubts. Not me. As much as I like to be liked by people , I am an over-thinker. And if you no one like that , be really happy ! And I would never had written this post if one of my favorite people had not pinged me last week just to say he loved me ( more worthy ‘cause we were giving silent treatment to each other from some days ). And then same day , when another friend complained that no one did anything to make her feel loved and special in life, I decided to write about it.

People , please please take time to make your friends feel special. Remind them how much they are important to you. Even the oldest of friends need such memories to sustain the same love for a long time.

Loving as as important as much telling the person about it.

So from today , do this for one of your friends every week.

Let this chain of declaring love go a long way and bring more love back to you.


One might say the dead never blanket the light,

without leaves, do they feel alive ? do they need to ?

their dreams reached the skies too early; mine too late.

For love of reading

It is going to be hot.
I am not even sure if and where we will all sit together.
I can only get you lot of cold water and more of my love for talking about books.
I guarantee that if you love books, or even if you are entering this world of printed words , you will like meeting us.
Who are we ? We are some book lovers who want to know and meet more of our kind. And to exchange book recommendations and even books if we like you.

We host the Silent Reading Meet every month in delhi from last 10 months and this post is to announce the next meet on sunday 26th April, 11 am @ crafts museum ( pragati maidan )

Please spread the word and help us join more book lovers.

Feel free and loving

Sometimes all you need is to have cozy conversations and hugs. More hugs than talks perhaps. You need to feel the bonds grow in each other’s hearts and to feel the blessings that God sends in terms of people. Often we forget to give a chance to the heart to feel free to sbut the mind for time being. Sometimes crazy company is all that you need to loosen up yourself.

So have more conversations, hug a lot f lovely friends and just   yourself go free in their caring company.

Something I did last night. And loved every moment of it.

Love is just a word

So many words,

And verses later

I know not

What to write

And what

I should hide,

I only know

Love is not

Ideal –

Never was or will be.

But love is

just a word

we give to

selfish feelings.

Why else would

I want

To be with you,

Bind you,

Be bound.

It is not love

Or my liking

But the truth

That you and me

Were carved out


Out of a single

tree – we were one

we have to be,

we always would be.

Gift Experiences

Yesterday I stumbled upon the “Experience Gift ideas” on some site. Checking the various options , I landed on the site whose vouchers I had seen as part of promotion. I kind of liked the idea and concept. I mean , who will not like to go to a restaurant and just enjoy a good meal knowing it has been paid for ( even if I pay for it myself or as a gift for husband ) or getting an email that someone has booked a spa session for you followed by a meal for the two of you. One of my favorite was the wine tasting session in Bangalore and another was the local road trip in some cities.

Though I was not convinced with the pricing , but I suppose for a special occasion I would not mind booking one of the experience for a dear one. I goggled a bit more and there were a few other sites which were cheaper and yet the options were not interesting enough. Sadly the only thing they had for a bookworm was crossword coupon. What I would have liked was to be taken to some bookshops around the city or to get a signed copy of my favorite book or just something to make you feel special as a reader. As I said , the ideas can be expanded to any level provided some one is willing to pay the price.

In all , it did give me some ideas for a few friends and occasions ! Hopefully someday I will blog about one such experience too J

Sweet surprises

Sometimes Life surprises you with certain events and encounters that have a reason but no logic still. A few days back , someone followed me on one of my social profile and liked a lot of posts , all book related ones ( 21 pics to be accurate ) . It was creepy ( do not ask why ) at first but when I checked her profile , she turned out to be another booklover. When I asked her how she landed on my profile , she said that she was trying for a user name for her mother who has same name as me and the surname too ( Her mother in Pande and I use Yogesh’s surname Pandey ) due to which she found my page.

Well , life you sure work in weird ways.

And such sweet instances do keep me loving you a little bit more !

Bless me more such smiles and people around !


Sleepless nights have become a norm this week. Like a well gaurded secret , the night grows inside me till its ready to rip my thougts apart into million little dreams , some of which are already standing at the edge of nightmarish abyss.

It is not the thoughts that keep me awake but the fact that i have no thouht other than you. Call it my obsession or love for you , it matters not to me. You are the light I follow and search every moment am alone. Being even physically away from you any night makes me feel a part of me has been taken away from me. How does one sleep with one eye open or with one lung refusing to breathe ?

What has coffee to do with this you ask, knowing am more of a chai lover. Well, truth is chai reminds me of you , the way you like to have a different one each night and how much I love the weekly bed tea you get for me. So the craving for coffee to push your thoughts away from my head while I struggle with completing some work.

Sleepless nights have become a norm this week as much as keeping the night bulb on in the room. Trying to trash the shadows lurking around me, I await the dawn to hear your morning wishes.

What have you done to me , I wonder in vain. I know its not you or me but just that fact that its just you and me , me and you , you for me and me for you forever and ever.

Come home soon.
I miss my sleep now.

And they kissed

“Somedays I wish i had kissed a guy before I first met you” she sighed.

“I never stopped you from doing that even today. Go ahead. Have some fun” he said looking at the stars spread in a mysterious pattern above him.

She kept silent, staring at the same stars and suddenly rising up she shouted, “Hurry up then, I need to go kiss someone before its late.” He knew better than to argue, so followed her as she ran down the valley towards their car.Once settled in her seat, she waited impatiently for him to do the same.

And then they kissed.
She grinned. He smiled.

“Hopeless nutcase. Can you not let me watch the stars in peace ever ?” He asked mocking anger

“This is for the guy you were before I met you. You sure have no objection right” she laughed as they drove back home.

The stars could wait, but not the ones they felt inside as the kisses grew bolder.