The last week has been a real mixed bag of emotions. As much as I am thankful and excited and almost happy about this wonderful opportunity to be in Canada for work purpose , it is still more overwhelming being alone , being cold and over that searching for a home to stay in such a short notice.
It feels like a repetition to be sharing same fears and worries with my husband and my mother back in India ; to be eating really tasteless soulless food ( I am too spoilt with home made food since I got married five years back ) ; and looking at the world through my hotel window for about 5 hours a day , waiting for my friends and family to get up so I can talk to them ( and vice versa )
And I know this too shall pass.
I know as soon as I find a place to rent , I would start making it my space , and that would tie me to this country better.
I know I won’t be alone once my husband joins me ( I hope soon ) and yes , thats what is really eating me – being away from him.
Last night’s email from Saurabh talked about the movie Inside Out and about controlling our emotions. That plus the lesson that two of my dear friends have been drilling into me about being positive and inviting positive affirmations into my life and not repel my blessings ; made me feel a little guilty about how low I been feeling and reacting. A house I was supposed to check out tomorrow got leased today afternoon and when I expressed my disappointment , the owner lady was so nice to say that perhaps I deserved a better place. Like who really says so about their own property ! That totally moved me. Such people are a rare breed and I would feel so glad to have her as my landlady any day.
So , this post is about forgiving myself for losing sight of the reason I decided to come to this place alone. This post is more about gathering my hopes up and looking forward to being at a place that’s been marked for me.
*Fingers crossed* I will find it soon.