You have know it so well,
Like lines of my own hand,
No touch , no words, no sight
Yet, our meeting would not be right.
You love me not for yourself
But it’s a kindness we allow,
It’s complete in its own silence
Hence dangerous is it’s existence.
What’s for you to lose, I question
You own me,owe me in equal parts
One hug, one kiss, one hurried meet
That’s all I asked,just make this wish.
I am married , you remind me
No thanks to you, I say
Now we are being cruel on purpose,
We have to,there is no saner way.
The meeting was never fixed,
Nor any pretense to make it happen
I loved in the emails saved in drafts,
You loved me in pictures of past.
Linked to One link night @ dVerse
Post note : We all have that one person whom we first thought to settle with and even when that dream shattered , we kept the hopes alive with ample amount of lonely tears. Even after I got married to THE BEST guy I ever could meet ,I kept the hopes of one day meeting this old lover and perhaps ask him why I was ghosted from his life. ’cause it hurt real bad. But it’s been over two years I have not blamed myself for that or wanted to ever see this person. This poem was a milestone to this letting go. I did not want to write this story but got inspired by #ForgivingFriday prompt for the week.
I let go of thoughts that tie me to people for whom I don’t even exist.
Let me never be too blind
Or ignorant like them
I wish to not make me a stone
Battered by time and flow
let them not spill blood
In my name, or to humor me.
Otherwise be free to kill me
Let me lie. My truth will find light.
This poem is inspired by the powerful words shared by Amaya on Poetics Tuesday prompt.
I refuse to refer to reading as a challenge. So irrespective of what it is called , here are my reading goals for 2018
1. Read 10 non fiction books. Most of you know my love for fantasy fiction & thrillers and that non fiction never appears in my reading list ( unless it is for educational purpose ). This year I want to fix that and try to learn more and in depth from the books rather than articles. I also promise to review each of these on my review site.
2. first Read 2018 – This is hosted by my lovely friend DDS. The goal is to read as many new authors in the year. I am hoping to do atleast 10-15 authors whom I have not read before.
3. Goodreads – As usual , the reading will begin once the Goodreads count for book target is set. This year too , it is going to be 60 , totally wishing I will cross it by end of 2018.
4. It is not a reading goal , but more of an attempt no to miss the monthly reading wrap up ! For detailed review of all books I read in 2017 , please do check my book review blog @ ALOP
That’s all I am committing right now though in a post next week , I will share some interesting lists and challenges from around the internet.
Read more , read better , read regular.
What are your reading goals ?
Do share / contact me if you have any book recommendations for me 🙂
Some years back,
I packed a part (major one) of me;
The void now left
To fill with whatever flowed.
Some years since,
I let distances grow between
parts I missed and the ones new;
The mirror mocked,”is that really you?”
Some months past,
The bells rang loud and clear
I sacrificed my self and peace some,
To chase the dreams of someone else.
Went back searching what was locked away,
The yellowed photos,the dusty hopes,
Fixed them,framed them,gave new light
And yet the person I seeked, refused to step out.
Neither here, nor there I feel
Yet I like this person – mix of old and new;
Maybe this is how it has to ideally be,
Or perhaps I the transition is our true being.
Inspired by dverse poets and Toads
Jaane kyon dil jaanta hai,
Tu hai to I will be alright …
( I wonder why the heart feels that , with you around I will be alright )
Over the years I have shared these lines and some version of this with few people. With every two years , I have had new friends and newer close friends in my life. And though I have not lost many ( I hope ) friends , I also know that I have made mistakes , been an idiot to some friends and also nurtured a few idiots in my own life.
And that is why I know now that no matter where I go , what mood I am in , I have friends to fall back on. I even married my best friend as that is the most important lesson I had picked from my favorite movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai 😝 But really , your partner has to be your best friend and know your worst and the best alike. But let’s not put too much praise on one person as this post is NOT about spouse ,but friends.
Another lesson I have learned from bollywood is that not everyone can do and be everything for you. So you must have one friend for gossip and another for shopping,one for movie talks and other for book talks and so on. I have more weird categories of friends in my life and I am so so blessed for that. But most precious are the 3 am friends. These are not the ones you talk to at 3 am but the ones who get the message or voice notes at 3 am and who will respond at the earliest hour ,even at the risk of waking you up at 6 am to demand an explanation for the night senti message.
I have written so much about specific friends , the special days and the special people on this blog that this post appears to be just scratching the surface. It is no contest to prove who has the best friends since all friendships have a different journey and destination.
I can not summarize my gratitude in one post or few words to any of my friends. They all have the responsibility of making me the way I am , keeping me sane ,keeping me grounded and protecting from myself too at times. My husband would not even love me this much if he had to work so much on my fears and doubts about myself and life in general .
Thank you my friends , new and old , yet to meet or some lost , I love you all – some a little more !!
The youngest and the loveliest of the additions to my world of friends –
I am not the kind of person who keeps putting off building home just because I do not own the house. As if now , I have not even started thinking of buying a house. All I know is ,home is where I am with my family.
Today morning , I tweeted –
A house should not reflect your achievements , but your blessings.
And even though I did not realize the real reason or depth of that thought, talking to another person about this made it so relevant to me. A house built with love and filled with love has an energy like none other.
Sometimes we fill the house with all luxury or costly furnishings and yet it always feels inadequate. I made this mistake with the previous place we stayed. That house never felt home, no matter what we did. Then , it started nagging me that probably the constant fights and the tension in the house of the owners , affected the whole building. We moved houses within six months and *touchwood* the current place is so much brighter , love filled and definitely feels like home.
My favorite spot – my reading / yoga corner
This house has hosted more friends and parties than the houses I lived in last 2 years. And with every get together ,the house gathers more love and blessings.Next I plan to cover my bedroom walls with lot of memories and pictures and other token of love from all over the country. But even without that ,I am so happy with my space and life in this