Newspaper, books & notebook . The three forms of paper i deal with daily.
By the time i wake up, thr roomie is in kitchen, busy making lunch and preparing stuff for breakfast. Tje mist obvious help she needs that moment is to have all vessels and mugs washed. And thays where you would find me, 5 min after waking up.
Washing the utensils and then helping her in breakfast ( badically mzking chai ).
and so many questions to answer
- Post 11 things about yourself
- Answer 11 questions set by the nominator
- Choose 11 deserving bloggers meeting the criteria
- Set 11 questions for them.
- Inform the nominee by commenting on one of their posts.
Usually I do not accept awards [ I am lazy to write a whole post about myself ] but recently I have some new blogs for you all to check. And so bear with me dearies ..
ME ( though I doubt my regular readers will find anything new here )
1. I am not comfortable writing prose ( fiction / non fiction ). I either wander from track or end up writing all poetry like sentences.
2. I love south-indian food more than north indian when given an option outside home.
3. I do not like changes in plans. If i make some plan , I want it to be followed strictly. Last moment changes irk me.
4. Lack of sleep and hunger made me a complete monster yes , I am the last person you would mess up with when I am sleepy or hungry.
5. I can not concentrate on anything if once I think of writing. When in that thought zone , I do not welcome any distraction.
6. I love questions. More so , the ones that make me think. Unless too personal , I like people who keep discussing different thoughts , beleif , ideas etc. I even ask a lot of questions from people I love most. Its the easiest way for me to know about a person.
7. I owe my reading habits to my mother. Most of my thoughts and experiences have her influence. One can say , we are more alike than siblings.
8. I love short poetry forms. I am too lazy to read long ones. I don’t even write long ones unless in rare moods.
9. Friends mean a hell lot to me than any relative. Many of them are my extended family sort.
10. there are times when I suddenly grow restless. I realize I can not spend consecutive 2 weekends at home without going out somewhere.
11. I fear a lot of things – losing my loved ones to unnatural causes is the biggest one.
And now the questions which I will be answering both Leo & Reshma’s questions in next post.
but , here are the 11 people I would pass the award :
Kz ( amazing story teller and lovely haiku creator) ,
WabiSabi ( of wise and deep lines ) ,
Bjorn ( for amazingly real and innovative thoughts ) ,
Magical Mystical Teacher ( haiku , photos and more haiku) ,
Divya (story teller ) ,
Lynn (queen of heart breaking lines and flowing words ),
Kristjaan Panneman (Haiku Master ) ,
Ermilia ( for picture prompt , the story and the books she talks about ) ,
Carol ( photographs , creative haiku art and lots of other verses ),
A Lot of pages ( my book review page ),
and Lastly Ibeingme ( he is the best muse , inspiration , critic and the best poet i know )
And oh , I have only one ( or two ) questions for you to answer -
- what is your favorite post from your blog ?
- what is your biggest fear ?
Share with the world the award and pass it on if you have new blogs to recco !
Plus , you CAN ask any question ( not more than 11 please ) to the bloggers you mention
what you’re discovering about yourself.
Even before Emily asked this question , I was already walking on the path to accepting another flaw in me [ maybe I am being over critical ] , thanks to a gentle nudge in that direction from a dear friend.
I can not be happy too long
As much absurd this sound to even myself , I feel there is certain truth to this statement. I am more comfortable being a little sad or upset about this and that, but I can not believe everything being perfect or out of my hands. I have to be a little low and kind of become the reason for the same.
Yes, It is. And I admit this behavior is strictly in check from past months.
But I slip once in a while. And every time I am thankful for the helping hand I get from my friends and family. I need to be scolded a bit at times to make me realize how my moods are affecting the people close to me. How I can not always blame myself or fear the worst.
And those days , I place faith on people who love me , on the guy who thinks I am worth all the love and care , on my family who feel proud of who I am and on God to guide me out of these depressive storm brewing on the horizon.
I guess writing helps too ( I see I am smiling a bit as I wrote this)
So that’s what I discovered about myself today ( again ) and I promise my love , I will be better tomorrow and for days to come.
*hugs to myself*
My dreams lately have me seeing a lot of people from past. Some who have been mentioned in recent days and many who I don’t think i ever remembered after parting ways with. The dreams are kind of happy , even if not , atleast they are not sad or mysterious. Talking of mysterious dreams , I guess the weirdest one was to be invited to have a drink with my dad [ I still want to see how he or my mom would react to that ]
For years I have believed that dreams are answer to your subconscious thoughts. They might be something you badly want or just an image of what the future can hold for you. Sometimes they remind us of people we do not want to think about but we should. the college friends ( and the not-friends) I saw last week , the friends from present I saw today morning , they all had a reason to be there , even if i don’t know it now.
And the nightmares too. They show us whom we trust and turn to in real life crisis. I remember for a long time , I always saw my mom in my nightmares – in pain with me , protecting me and looking out for me. Then one night an year back, I had a real bad one and I saw him holding out his hand to me. I held that in dream and when I woke up , something inside me wanted that hand in real too. I always took it as a sign of accepting my feelings for him. And thank god I did.
So what do you think of your dreams ??
you ask why I write ,
and I admit ,
I am tempted to tell you,
maybe not the truth
’cause I know not today
what truth you will prefer
There ws a challenge,
when I began year back;
then came the need to impress
to spread my wings and test;
to cry , smile , scream and break
into peices over soft grass
or shredded glass in cold nights,
I wrote with abundance,
with pride over my new friends
and with fear one year -
the same year that I was robbed,
left naked to bleed and cry
while some one erased words
from dreams and real life alike.
Why I still wrote, my friends asked
and I have no answer except
writing a few bits more in secret.
Never did I know, I wrote
’cause there was someone out there
who waited to read me,
to match his silence with my lines,
to sing the words I left behind,
to read my words,
write to me,
write me ..
I write for him,
I wrote to seek him,
I write of his love
I wrote dreams of him
I always will,
I want to ..
This is a non stop writing that happened after reading this post and the comments below.
thank you dVerse Poets ! you always make me write some amazing stuff
Last week was a bit disappointing in terms of people. there were too many instances when I was hurt or upset with friends.
I thought I would write about them , I would vent my frustration/anger about how people behave nowadays but now I am not so sure.
Writing about them is not going to help them or make me feel good about it. but what I am really concerned about is people forgetting how to be nice to others, how to trust others.
Some one questioned me for charging her 30 rps extra for some tickets. I would not have minded that as much the fact she actually paid me whatever she thought was the correct price. what will I benefit from that ??
Another friend keeps asking me to make plans to meet but every time I call her , she has a reason not to come. Moreover she will not answer calls / msgs some days but I can see her active on social sites. I am tired of making plans for others and waiting for them
A very old friend of mine thinks I am living life all wrong ’cause I do not have any exciting stories to tell him. I do not write all that comes to my mind , I do not go places , I do not tire myself with catching up with N number of people or attend every single event in the city [ Actually I do try for most of the book events ]. why can not people accept change in others ? Do I have to justify my living to all now ?
I do not understand such people. I do not understand many people off-late I can not react offensively , I can not forget such incidents either. I do not feel like validating myself to others or to tell others if they are right or not. I only wish and feel to pray. Yes, I did not think I would say this, but I really Pray for all these people. I pray first for myself so I can keep my patience. I pray for these people to have peace in their life. I pray for random people who are so critical or negative always for the world.
I pray for Love.
I pray to be with my lover.
[ some friends think that being in a happy relationship has made me so much wise and forgiving. And I agree to this observation.]
I offer my love to god as random wishes whispered in the dark folds of night , as a lonely tear that rolls down my cheeks sometimes as I let go of another demon of my past , as the warm hug to my guy in appreciation of all smiles he has added to my life.
I thank you, Love you , adore you my God !
you are my savior. And I will forever pray for your blessings.
When love knocks your door, oh wait , love is not that polite. It has a nasty habit of poking you , nudging you , teasing you and winking shamelessly at you when you are with that special someone or thinking about him later on. The whole world might await or ask about it in whispers and you will walk away, lying about it – to yourself and to others.
Then one day , lying on the grass , watching the sunlight play blinking games with you, you feel the butterflies in your stomach as he leans over you and kisses you, the very kiss you dreamed about from weeks just happens without a warning or planning. While you were waiting for grand signs, love came and made home in your heart and his in subtle ways on just another day.
That night , you write in your diary, with most sheepish grin and stars in your eyes. you declare in capital letters to yourself, “I AM IN LOVE”.
And life goes on. In love. With your love. For his love.
The moments melt , like yin and yang , like smiling tears or tearful smiles , like a make up kiss or the useless fight.
You are not you. He is not him.
“We” live to love.
Early not,nor late
the world will hear the music
his love claims me
I leave office.
and like every other office going person, I feel so relaxed. All I want is to call my boyfriend or sometimes mom and talk about how my “day” was. But there is rarely any friend awake to talk at this hour.
Yes , I talk to them after waking up around noon. But I can not explain this itch to hear some loved one after work.
Maybe this will become a major reason I am thinking of a change.
( Infact I am typing this post while travelling back from office )
I am woken up by the love birds outside my room’s window. My house has new guests ( they are a part of the house I guess by now)- a pigeon couple. Which I must add are building their nest on top of AC. Needless to say, they mess the whole balcony but neither me nor roomie want to disturb their home. We have even thought of feeding them a bit now and then.
( Did you know pigeons have a strong sense of direction ? Their brain cells can gauge earth’s magnetism which help them track paths. Plus they pair for life unless one partner dies)
I am ready and waiting for the cab to pick me from home for office. And I thank god(s) that another day of the week is over. I also hope and wish my time at work be well spent and I keep myself out of petty politics and uselessness of some people around me. Weekend where are you !!
Oh, before that .. Where the hell is cab ??
*Picks my novel and goes reading*
That’s all new to report.
Lot of observations more.
Also Linked to Alphabe Thursday – L
Me time. Like the one I have taken out now to write this post ?
Or the time I find to read other posts that would be written about this theme in hope to learn a bit from other wise ladies ( and men if they wrote).
Often I think Me time is just an illusion. but its a beautifully satisfying illusion I admit
How you take out time mostly depends on what you like to do, since each activity/hobby has a place and time. you would not imagine cooking in middle of night,will you ? Well I can not since I have an open kitchen where you can not stand in winter nights for more than making a cup of tea for yourself !
I do not like days I miss on reading and writing. While reading a book regularly looks like a lot of effort , it is not. I spend 15 min travel time in reading and 20-30 minutes before I sleep on the book. Also, the days my cab is late ( which happens 2 times a week for sure) , you will always find me reading.
Also the time I travel on weekends in the metro , I prefer to keep my phone inside bag and rather read the 30-40 min I got.
While writing takes much more time and you have to sit on the laptop with a concentration of atleast half hour , I try to write bits and pieces of prose articles ( and even poetry) in phone notes / email drafts whenever the thought strikes. Early morning ( my morning is 11 am though ), with a cup of tea in hand , I sit to assemble these thoughts into something meaningful. If not , then I do it from office since I get a bit free time to read and write in middle of other tasks.
Writing also involves reading others – to be inspired , to learn , to be amused and entertained , to share and to expand your horizons. This reading can be done on phone while you travel or better if you own a tab. you can save the pages once online and read them later. I try to spend 2-3 hours each weekend on reading various articles. Most articles get delivered to my inbox making it easier for me to read from my phone.
Another activity I enjoy is to walk. To notice things and people around. Most days , I follow the walk-n-talk advice of idea All my calls to my mother are done while I am walking to and fro the market or in park , or going to metro station ( which happens to be a walk of 20+ min each time ).
Latest and the last hobby for me is cooking. I pack my dinner almost daily and I try to prepare it on my own. But i do not get to try new dishes on weekdays since I am in a hurry to get ready and cook at same time. Hence the weekends I go home, I spend in kitchen. My mom loves it ’cause she can be free of kitchen duty for 2 days and I get the kitchen to myself to try all new dishes I want. win win situation ! Next week, I try the same dish at my place
So that’s My time and how I spend it.
And hope that I keep finding time like this after I am married and have extra responsibilities too.
I am voluntarily taking up this tag from Pinksocks blog
Idea is to do the similar list with the first alphabet of your name.
why P ?
’cause my real name starts with P :D
1. Pari (fairy) : one of my old nickname which I admit I kinda liked ! alas, only 2 people call me by this name and I haven’t talked to both of them in ages !
2. Poetry : something that is my identity most times. I live , love , eat and breathe poetry. I write the same
3. Paranormal : One of my fav genre to watch on TV these days and even to read ( you can throw it under fantasy fiction too ) but yeah , most loved TV series – Fringe , supernatural , Warehouse 13 , the Mentalist etc etc will fall in this category.
4. Project : A recent addition to my terminology outside work. Basically , I have taken up a few deliberate goals for the year – Project 52 to blog , Project Know delhi , Project 50 new dishes in 2013 , reading challenges. Ok, I think I have taken too many projects
5. Photography : something I always avoided being a part of. I mean being in front of camera. now I am total opposite. I also need to learn a bit of photography so i can use my camera well even when alone.
6. Postponing : I am the master of doing that with my chores. Except reading a novel or cooking , I postpone anything and everything by atleast 10-15 min out of laziness and for days even if its a personal task.
7. Pasta : Food that i love most. I might not have it often when I go out, but given an option , I will chose it over any other dish.
8. Purple : color I love most. all and any shades. That reminds me , I have to buy a purple bag this summer.
9. Possessive : I am. totally. My guy knows it but ignores most times ( he knows he doesn’t give me any reason as such) , but trust me to act possessive at times just for fun. Basically, I don’t like some one taking my place. anywhere. anytime.
10. Past : something I can not forget or leave behind. Its a shadow I walk with even in the night. My past defines me. and I am not willing to let it free as yet.
Realizations can happen any time , any place about anyone – provided you do not ignore them.
And when they reveal things about you, it can get a little too much sometimes.
The last month has been little stressful for me even when there been moments of great joy too. But all the talking , thinking and worrying at times did leave its mark.
While I can not and do not want to re think over those lines, here’s something I did realize -
Between you and me
I am not always in sync
With the little voice in head
I do not usually deny
It says stuff I leave unsaid.
I recognize the voice as ‘she’
the kind of spirit I am not
And she has a lot to tell me
Whether asked or not to poke.
These days she been telling
I have lost a grip on things
My head is such a mess
No logic, just all feelings.
I am scared of days to come,
And of failing people who care,
I need reassurance now and then
Am not walking alone here.
I demand a lot sometimes,
She keeps sending the warning,
But to question,if am wrong,
to that, she won’t be answering.
I feel so lost, so worthless,
I don’t know what to say or write,
Between you and me, I told her
I think we both are wrong and right.
Help me, I whispered to her,
And she filled my eyes with tears
Let it flow my dear she said,
Selfless love alone can free your fear.
I stumbled upon this awesome prompt to recap our weeks every Friday. I so much needed this I guess. Sometimes writing poetry and flash fiction can get tiring. so yes , this is a reflective way to know how I did this week :
( In order of my remembrance)
* I start the year end writing prompt tomorrow. And really glad to see it turning 3 this year. *fingers crossed* for finding lot of posts to read. Details here
* This blog found its 200th follower. And kind of liked the way wordpress announced it in notifications
* December, I have a secret , long cherished dream to make happen. Please wish me luck .
* I had been trying to find out , who sent me this book since it came as a gift without a name. And it turns out , DialABook ( @dialabook )saw my tweet about someone gifting me a book and did send me one ! That was super awesome thing of the week !
* I finished 40 books this year and on my book review blog , I finished my 50th book review. Much proud to be associated with that blog.
* I realized I am not being at my best behavior for a friend. Maybe I am unable to forget my hurt and am being biased in my judgement. I am not proud of it but for unexplainable reason, I can not seem to change my ways. I do wish best for him.
* For the first time I admitted to myself I have some unresolved resentment against few of my friends, who went missing when I needed and I wish to do the same to them someday. I might have actually acted this selfish with few. Am I proud ? No. Do I regret ? Not yet.
* I wrote another poem in my mother tongue. And I will like to try more and more writing in that.
* I did a considerably decent job at cleaning my room today. And I am more and more enjoying cooking on my own.
* Boyfriend loves me a lot and really wants me to get better every day at whatever I do but its my bestie who really understands me and I guess I love her a bit more every week.
bless you all !
Why are we so shy / scared to ask.
Ask questions , permissions and most importantly ask apologies !
I had gone to watch the movie “cloud Atlas” last month. When intermission happened , a couple sitting a few seats away from me came up to me and asked me how the movie began since they were 15 min late to reach the theater. After they had thanked me enough with cute smiles ( both of them seemed to be in college and really young) , I wondered if I would ever do that. I had been to movies a few minute late and even if I never had to ask about the missed scenes , I know I would not ask at all. Even if I can’t make much head of the movie , I will NOT ask some one.
There are other times too when the question is right on the tip of my tongue but I swallow it back. I do try to ask if i know I can not absolutely function without that information. Else , I let it be , hoping it won’t matter tomorrow.
But it does.
Same is for apologies. The moment you realize it was a mistake on your part , do not let your ego come in between whats the right and best thing to do. Ask forgiveness with an honest heart. Those who ask, shall be forgiven much sooner.
Ask questions or apologies at the first chance. Life doesn’t give you another chance. And even if , it did that , the price is not always low.
Linked to Alphabe-Thursday - A
This post was supposed to be written way back ! Ok ! not so long back , but yeah , a week would be fine to assume. Thanks to the second award by Sheelu , I finally am writing this one. Sorry dear , I missed writing the post for previous award so I am gonna combine it in here ( yeah yeah lazy me )
( And do scroll down for some awesome blog recco )
- If you are nominated you must include the link in a blog, linking to the person/blog that nominated you.
- You must answer some questions and nominate 10 fellow bloggers and link their blogs in your post. Let the people you have nominated know that you have nominated them!
Now as per the rules.. here comes the questions:
- Who is your favorite philosopher? My friends Sree , Meanie , Nave and Yogesh. No one can give me wisdom like they do. And my mother for the spiritual guidance always.
- What is your favorite number? 13 ( dnt make a face ! its my birthdate )
- What is your favorite animal? Cats ( And offlate its yogesh’s pet dogs )
- What are your Facebook and Twitter URLs? Twitter : @nimue_
- What is your favorite time of day? Returning from office @ 2 AM. I love the silent roads , blinking lights and the darkness travelling with me. It always inspires the dreamy me .
- What was your favourite vacation? A much awaited trip with my boyfriend happened this month. So loved the time away from everything and everyone. And I loved the train journey
- What is your favorite physical activity? Walk & Talk ( specially the weekly conference call with my bestie Kartik & Yogesh)
- What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Fruit Punch
- What is your favorite flower? Red, yellow roses
- What is your passion? Writing poetry , Reading fiction , cooking for loved ones.
- Thank the person who nominated you.
- Add The One Lovely Blog Award to your post.
- Share 7 things about yourself.
- Pass the award onto 15 nominees and let them know.
Now as per the rules.. some facts about me:
- First Love for me is words – Writing and reading are like breathing to me.
- I love to cook. I haven’t started trying different stuff yet but I am making my own lunch & dinner regularly to master the basics of this art.
- I am a huge fan of crime / mystery shows. And I do watch them on laptop religiously every week. ( not indian ones , except a rare few)
- I prefer waking up to /my best friend and roomie Shalini’s voice ( with bed tea of course ) and a sweet good morning text from boyfriend.
- I can not stay alone more than a week. I have never tried, but I know this about myself.
- I am not a cleanliness freak but I need my bed to be empty before I sleep.
- I get uncomfortable with silences. Even with people I know and love , i prefer the conversations going.
And now the Blog Reccos ( I leave it upto you to accept the award or do a post like this )
Firstly , the very inspiration for the post : Ghar ka Khaana ( meaning – home made food )
Next is the inspiration behind my renewed cooking interest : Cook-Eat-Burpp
My weekly fun and 55 fiction quota comes from G-Man (he knows it all )
The best of poetry art can be found at The World Poetized
My dear friend and mother of two lovely daughters, Lynn writes about love and life at Life between the Lines
Eclipse of the Moon – this page has inspired me to write poetry like no one else. The images are wow and so the words.
The very sensible and entertaining guy Bikram writes at Me and my random thoughts
And last recco to A lot of Pages - the book review blog i am a part of. If you love books , you must check this blog.
Gift#1 – The new light in my life.
Bunked office mid way ,
Calls , messages , video chat , hugs and smiles.
Getting together with friends for cake#1
Ceremonial cake wasted on the “newly born”
Lunch & cake#2 with family
Blessings to act a little wise.
Thank you ever one who made the past year so special and interesting to me. Looking forward to more reading and writing this year too with all your love and support.
A special hug to the one who made sure I will always remember this year for “love” and with more “love”.
For the first time , I do not want to type in bold "Happy Independence Day" or smile about all that this nation of mine has to offer me. Not that it has done less for the citizens. It has provided us with a lot of meaningful resources and opportunities too. But what have we given it back ? What have I as a citizen done for the nation ? or even the part I live ?
Till I have a proud answer to that , I just wish each year adds glories to my country and not shame as i have seen in the last years ..
Bless you Inida(ns)
I learned to speak -
To echo what some one feels ;
I learned to express
What flowed in my heart in excess;
I learned to tell
Tales when silence fell;
Only to realize now
I am the way you are not
I am the voice
to your thoughts.
Dedicated to one of my fav blogger Ibeingme
Linked to Open Link night
I do not know when and where this feeling got its root in my head but I never could ask some one to accompany me for a walk or shopping. If i wanted , I would just go ahead with it. This habit became more like a definition of me when a dear Friend got em going to movies alone and I so much loved them that way.
It never felt odd initially till lot laters when I shifted to noida. for some reasons , I felt people did not take it as casually here if you are seen alone for shopping or movies. Maybe It is my assumption. But i did feel a little odd at times. If it was just for movies or shopping , it was ok. But it became a habit of NOT asking some one when I had to go out any where. Be it near or far , I adjust my schedule and travel times so that I can reach back home by 9. I do not like some one dropping me home. I would rather not go out than expect some one to bother about my return. There are not many people to whom I can ask rightfully to accompany me some where.
Some people think am too proud. Few think i am foolish to try to do everything on my own. for me , its just a precaution and necessity that I be able to function any where on my own – with friends or alone.
Each morning when I wake up, I do not thank God for the wonderful day he blessed me with. I instead check upon my emails , text messages and tweets. As I go about my day, I think of God once in a while – to crib , complain or an occasional thank you for setting something unexpectedly right for me. But do I thank him without a cause ? Oh, I remember I do. when I sit back and contemplate what is wrong with my life. And as I sis to find ways to fix them, I say to God, Oh dude, you gotta help me with this. Please !
I have a lot of questions to ask, and a lot of answers to share with him. I totally believe in “everything happens for good”. I have lived this epiphany a lot of times in the last 10 years. And yet, when I need to cry , I must and I do. No reasons or excuses given to any. When I am upset , I just am. No reasons or excuse small or big enough to justify my sour mood.
I am not perfect – oh I am far from it. But I try.I try hard. And all that I wish is God to see through those tries and trials and keep me safe and blessed.
I hope you will forgive me not praying daily.
I hope you know I love and respect your words a lot but I fail to follow them always. I hope you keep loving me the same as today. And last, I hope you keep all these hopes alive in me, as long as I live.
Bless me !
Bless all !
“I am fine”
i convinced all but me;
’cause deep within i knew
leaving was last thing i ever wished -
the friends ,the inspiration , the love,
the tease ,the warm hugs and celebrations ;
where else would some one await
to hear me scold and yell at them,
or poke me when i fell silent,
where else would i find parcel of joys
being delivered all day and night ?
“I will be fine”
i told the few concerned eyes
and turned away,
so tears i could hide
that i knew would never run dry
even if new smiles would adorn the eyes,
my first home will be special always
and the call to return will never let
the soul heal,from the cuts of time ..
Written for Month of the year challenge # 2 (November)
It was november’09 when I had to leave a dear set of people and not move on but move back in life. Even though I am still in touch with few of those people, I miss the collective fun we had for about a year ! God bless those gems wherever they are.
(inspired from this poem i read)
Thanks to my parents and siblings to survive my craziness one more year and not declare me insane yet ( doesn’t matter that they think so)
Thanks to old friends who still love me like they did last year or the year before. Thank you for never forgetting me in your special times and also being a part of my life.
thanks to some people I met last year , who turned out to be such great friends ! thank you for taking time to know me and shape my year.
A special thanks to some new friends i added to my life this year. You are already too special
A special mention of the new experiences in music , poetry , movies and reading that God blessed me with. The book blog , the music emails filling my inbox, the comments at my posts, this blog , the many wonderful blogs i read, the movies I watched and adored , the photographs , the projects I see people undertake around me, every thing and anything creative .. It adds such smiles to my day !
A smile over some really wonderful conversations ,chats, phone calls, meetings and arguments too !
Love you !
Love you God ! You always made me feel blessed at end of each year and phase…