Lost & Found

The card came in the morning.”Happy Wedding anniversary darling” was all it read . No flowers , no gifts to accompany it. She kept it on the table and read it every time she crossed it. Some times she simply stopped her chores and read the words. His words. After so many years together , she was not amazed to receive the card. But she knew the words had no weight. She felt a feeling of loss. why was she trying to find a meaning for her life in these words ?

The divorce happenned that weekend. He married her best friend the next.

Giving up

The twisted hallways,
that her thoughts made
were sources of illness,
she knew;
Miracles ceased to happen
with the last of his words,
echoing within gestures
she later saw;
Singing of bleak hopes
she hands her dreams
to the light that follows
her destiny;
Delivering justice to all
but none to carry her flame
she cries hard and gives up
at his grave.

–

Prompted @ OSI , Sunday Whirl wordle

I saw them

Source : Trainstation by No Life Before Coffee (via Flickr stream)

I see her standing at the platform, half hidden by the corner pillar; her left foot tapping to the song playing on her Ipod, looking nowhere in particular but everywhere. For a moment, our eyes meet and we smile. she turns her look away almost immediately as if hiding from me as I keep staring at her elegant and almost attractive features. Noticing all possible visual details about her, I try hard to remember her but in vain. Every name that pops in ym head is negated by the playful smile she has on her face as if enjoying the trouble she has given me. She once more looks at me from corner of her eye and looks at the incoming train for an excuse to look elsewhere.

He comes out of the train and as if she was already aware , she picks her stuff and hurries to meet him. Taking him in her arms she beams like a child who has got an extra candy during lunch time. she whispers in his ear and he looks at me with one of the most heart breaking smile. And that’s when I know who she is. I used to be her some years back ; She used to be me that time. My future baffled at my present ; My present hiding from the future ME.

I see them walk past me with a knowing smile. I miss those days. I miss him. I miss myself. Andhere I stand , awaiting for another chance perhaps.

–
Prompted @ Sunday Picture Press , Inspiration Monday , 3WW

Shared ache

Not really unaware of her emotions,
mother admonishes daughter,
hiding well, the aches of heart,
the deep sighs in the fullness of night,
awaiting the return of love
from mere shadows,
that dance on kitchen walls
as they cook together one more time.

~

Inspired from The sunday Whirl , Also linked to Open Link Night @ dverse Poetics

A “fine” moment ?

“I am fine”

i convinced all but me;

’cause deep within i knew

leaving was last thing i ever wished -

the friends ,the inspiration , the love,

the tease ,the warm hugs and celebrations ;

where else would some one await

to hear me scold and yell at them,

or poke me when i fell silent,

where else would i find parcel of joys

being delivered all day and night ?

“I will be fine”

i told the few concerned eyes

and turned away,

so tears i could hide

that i knew would never run dry

even if new smiles would adorn the eyes,

my first home will be special always

and the call to return will never let

the soul heal,from the cuts of time ..

Written for Month of the year challenge # 2 (November)

It was november’09 when I had to leave a dear set of people and not move on but move back in life. Even though I am still in touch with few of those people, I  miss the collective fun we had for about a year ! God bless those gems wherever they are.

(inspired from this poem i read)

photo source

Omen #novpad day 7

One after another,
each hopping over other,
images fall from my eyes,
into the cold lap of loss,
where once you rested
your weary head,
today it can’t wait
to bid you, a farewell …
Omen of days to come
overlap the shadows of past.

 

Prompted @ Sunday Scribblings (Omen) and November PAD  (write a “what won’t wait” poem.)

Meaningful things

And I thought I could not live through the pain

of losing first the people,

better to death i said once in rage;

losing people and then the things

that reminded me of those gone,

that was bound to hurt,and a lot.

what would have held my tears better

But the void i feared did not hurt,

memories flooded it like warm blood,

pain was numbing , tears all dry,

words were lost and so was a part of me.

lost things never hurt more than people

there was no desperate attempts

to restore any of that , any time

the things i mean, not relations

as if you alone could make them work

the emptiness hardened the heart

more than the people who stepped over it..

 

–

This was a response to Tuesday Tryout : Poem on things meaningful to you . Last month my laptop got formatted by mistake and I lost all my poetry , music , movies , pictures and what all .. And that emptiness still lives in my heart but strangely , it did not hurt any day , I never thought about it until i read the prompt.

Also submitted to dVrse Poets pub

anther thought ..

you drive me insane; actually you have managed to do this years back. now.. well now you just paint it a shade darker and damp.. dark enough to hit me hard and damp with the pain, i carry for days. it creeps me like some worm infested fruit that am forced to eat. no wonder it leaves a bad puking taste in the mouth. even the friendly consolations that its all in my head and not real, does not change the fact that it makes me inhuman. always like that to others trying to be close to me. will it drive you away is not a fear i live with , but a nightmare i wake up from each night…

Some thoughts on bombay blasts

He who lost some one
will never forget the pain
while leaders would scream
promises in vain;

Did we not ourself make
a difficult security scene
where rules are discarded
and later lives go to same bin.

Prayers to ones hurt
but caution to the rest
its your own safety damn it
better be aware than dead !

Random thought

Gagged words echo in my head,
I maintain a straight face ,
looking at my self in the mirror -
“If you could omit the years
we knew each other,and meet
again today,like strangers do,
you would have loved me for sure !
Yes, you would have….

–

Prompted @ three word wednesday

Loss – A haibun

I miss some one I have never met. It does not mean I knew him not. He was the one who understood nothing of my culture but me for sure. We met in a poetry forum, me amazed at his bold writes and he surprised to see an “Indian” like them. It was a pleasure to break his myths about India each evening as he broadened my horizons of writing every night. words flew like boundless love from one country to another; from one heart to another. A dream to meet just once , a desire to hold his hands, a beleif in the boundless love between two people so different in every way.

And one day, he lost his son to suicide. He lost to life, And I lost my best friend and guide.

seasons change always
your words frozen in time wrap
I explore vaguely

 

===

Prompted @ Inspiration Monday &  Tuesday Tryut

A world with you

The only dream of a different world i ever had, was to live with the one i loved [ or so i thought] And so the “new world” always brings these feelings to surface.

 

It was a silly dream i know
living together forever
love would never have grown
It was a silly dream i know
Seeds of  new world i did sow
now weeds it though gather
It was a silly dream i know
living together forever.

living together with you
It was a silly dream i know
not even a weed to hold to
living together with you
some facts are as untrue
as the challenges they throw
living together with you
It was a silly dream i know

Seeds of  new world i did sow
though no hope i ever had
love would never have grown
Seeds of  new world i did sow
It was a silly dream i know
i wish it was better dead
Seeds of  new world i did sow
though no hope i ever had.

 

Prompted @ Theme Thursday , March challenge

I feel the loss

Some times, life brings you in contact with a person whom you feel so connected to, who in his own weird ways makes you happy, who irritates you and annoys you but still you like to have him around.

And then Life does not like this – Or maybe you met this person by mistake. You were never supposed to know his existence. and that maybe would have been good for you both.

Whatever be the scene, you did come into my life , you did make me smile , you made me want to either kick you or some one else at least from the ways you fought with me every other day. I did not mind fighting even the false blames most times. but today I give up. If you can not trust me but more depend on the technologies and your ideas about me, let it be.

I just hope some day you will read this and realize I was not lying !

I already feel the loss of losing a friend.
I will miss you sometimes.

Take care “pagal”