A to Z challenge : Believe

“you don’t believe it ?” , she asked him as she folded a few more dresses and stacked them on the bed.

Next she took out the suitcase from the almirah and only when she was done packing her things , did she turn to him.  All this while he was looking at her activities with an amused look.

“so ..” , she looked at him questioningly.

“If you had to leave , you could have just left. you know , why spend last half hour convincing me about it ? Unless you want me to ask , when you would be returning” , he smiled as he picked her suitcase and walked ahead of her, without waiting for a reply.

She went and sat in the waiting cab, and finally laughing at her actions , she slowly said, “you really think I will not leave you alone for long ? You are right dad. I am returning soon and make sure you do not have any more fun without me”

And then she was gone. Out of her nest , for the first time ; with his belief in her , her belief in his trust and herself as her only ally.

a flower awaits,
pretty butterfly new born,
wonders lie in path.

A to z challenge : Adventure

she got it wrong,

the free bird reminded her-

money never goes high.

Sheela sat at her desk , looking out of the window. She could see the sun set in far horizon and the birds return home. she wished she could return home too. Then very slowly , she turned to look at the laptop screen where the Outlook showed a whole lot of emails awaiting her reply. She knew it would be another long day. Or night, she laughed to herself , hearing the office go silent.

If only she had listened to her heart to go on that adventure with him. That unplanned vacation he had so excitedly asked her to take with him. The trip he finally went alone and both of them missed each other so much. Just then, he called her and she made a mental note to join him over weekend, wherever he was and not to return for another week.

The pending work did not make her sad anymore.

She was finally let her heart win over her head.

And she felt lot better after a long time.

==

Inspired by the theme at

My dreams

My dreams lately have me seeing a lot of people from past. Some who have been mentioned in recent days and many who I don’t think i ever remembered after parting ways with. The dreams are kind of happy , even if not , atleast they are not sad or mysterious. Talking of mysterious dreams , I guess the weirdest one was to be invited to have a drink with my dad [ I still want to see how he or my mom would react to that ]

For years I have believed that dreams are answer to your subconscious thoughts. They might be something you badly want or just an image of what the future can hold for you. Sometimes they remind us of people we do not want to think about but we should. the college friends ( and the not-friends) I saw last week , the friends from present I saw today morning , they all had a reason to be there , even if i don’t know it now.

And the nightmares too. They show us whom we trust and turn to in real life crisis. I remember for a long time , I always saw my mom in my nightmares – in pain with me , protecting me and looking out for me. Then one night an year back, I had a real bad one and I saw him holding out his hand to me. I held that in dream and when I woke up , something inside me wanted that hand in real too. I always took it as a sign of accepting my feelings for him. And thank god I did.

 

So what do you think of your dreams ??

Life these days.

2 AM.

I leave office.
and like every other office going person, I feel so relaxed. All I want is to call my boyfriend or sometimes mom and talk about how my “day” was. But there is rarely any friend awake to talk at this hour.

Yes , I talk to them after waking up around noon. But I can not explain this itch to hear some loved one after work.

Maybe this will become a major reason I am thinking of a change.
( Infact I am typing this post while travelling back from office )
10 AM

I am woken up by the love birds outside my room’s window. My house has new guests ( they are a part of the house I guess by now)- a pigeon couple. Which I must add are building their nest on top of AC. Needless to say, they mess the whole balcony but neither me nor roomie want to disturb their home. We have even thought of feeding them a bit now and then.

( Did you know pigeons have a strong sense of direction ? Their brain cells can gauge earth’s magnetism which help them track paths. Plus they pair for life  unless one partner dies)

4PM

I am ready and waiting for the cab to pick me from home for office. And I thank god(s) that another day of the week is over. I also hope and wish my time  at work be well spent and I keep myself out of petty politics and uselessness of some people around me. Weekend where are you !!

Oh, before that .. Where the hell is cab ??

*Picks my novel and goes reading*

That’s all new to report.
Lot of observations more.
Hopefully soon.

==

Also Linked to Alphabe Thursday – L

Non charismatic

some people lack
charisma-
and that’s their super power;
to hide in plain sight,
to blend in a crowd,
to be a stranger all life,
even to ones who see them
every passing day -
These are the people
I sometimes wish to be -
some days I so badly need
this immunity from the world
of known faces , known feelings,
of advertised smiles
and so much shared pains.

==

Image source

Written for OSI , sunday scribblings

Karma

Few months back , I asked myself the question , why I am good [ Assuming I am a good human being]. This was following a discussion with a friend about people being good till they have no opportunity to be otherwise. A true check of one’s character is how he/she behaves when presented the opportunity to be mean and also get away with it.

And after much thought, I realized that my reasons for being the way I am is belief in my Karma.

Karma for me is the principle that governs my actions and my life.

Said In simpler terms , Karma is the cause and effect way of living. It states that the effects ( rewards / punishments ) of every action of yours would be decided and passed on to you in this very lifetime. No deed of yours goes unreported and is tracked till the right moment. There be delay in the judgement , but be assured , it will happen. And to add more to the effect , the punishments are handed down in cumulative manner for all the sins in past.

And this , scares me. One can say I am good from the fear of punishment. I used to feel embarrassed about it before. But not today. I am good and whatever keeps me this way – karma , God’s words , my moral codes , my mother’s teachings .. anything that keep the happy glow in my life’s light , I am thankful for it. There is nothing wrong to admit that you fear god’s wrath. I do. And like a kid scared of the strict teacher , I am willing to be cautious forever as to not make mistake.

May my Karma keep me blessed.

Hope you all find the light for your life and keep it shining

==

& Alphabe Thursday – K 

Lets create happiness

We all have searched happiness outside our self , our home , our work – basically OUTSIDE.

while happiness is an energy source that is inside you , trapped within the layers of your heart. Its like the butter kept in the freezer – all it needs is a warm ray of  hope and smile to flow free into your life.

you have to decide what makes you happy and its essential you become the creator of that happiness , rather than depending on others.

This reminds me of a conversation with a friend. I love cooking, but I can not enjoy the food alone. Only when I have a company to eat(and praise) the food , I can be really happy. My friend pointed out to me that I can not be happy this way whenever I want. I need people and I need them to like my food too, both of which are not in my control. He said ,

“If something makes you happy , no matter if you are alone or in a crowd , if it can change your frown into smile as per your bidding and time , THAT is the reason or source you should hold on to”

I have always followed this since that conversation, 3 years back.

Happiness is to create smiles and hopes around you. Sometimes its by treating yourself to special attention and sometimes treating others the way you will like to be treated.

I find my happiness in books , music and mostly in writing.

To write and read others’ ideas on similar prompt or feelings is what makes me feel at peace.

To that spirit of happiness and sharing , Happy new year to you all.

Keep writing & stay happy.

This reminds me of a commercial ad :

 

==

 

  Also linked to Alphabe Thursday

Stones from day 5-8/365

the vacant plot
of yellow grass,
once dead tired
of loneliness;
now sings aloud
of tiny pair of feet
rushing to swings -
new year gift to park.

cleanliness
next to godliness,
she learned as a child;
and so she feeds
to the ants at her door,
daily sugar and rice.

he focused hard
on the steaming cup
of over sweet tea
paid by a stranger,
overlooking the dog
that shared his meal
without invitation.

each day presented
a new trouble in life,
nothing could he hold
except her love filled time,
neither money nor family
understood his needs,
yet life moved on,
her words guide his feet.

 

Every moment has a “WOW” factor, If only you observe and appreciate.

==

Also linked to 3WW , Imaginary Garden with real toads , Theme Thursday

this night

Some moments are fixtures
Like these street lights,
Looking over the cars,
With clueless people
Like me in them.
Blinking dreams
In red and yellow
Appear in the mirror
As I try to hold
This one night
In pics and words
That might not mean
The same ever again.

Life with goals

She definitely did not have easy goals for life. Reading 50 books per year , cooking 50 new dishes , visiting 10 new places in the same year,so on.

Every accomplishment was beginning of a new strangeness. Until her life seemed hollow to her – the dark pit she dug and drowned alone.

==

Written for Inspiration Monday , Trifecta , G-Man’s fridayflash55

Decisions

A compromise,
this life is;
reminds the lady
in my head.
the decisions
are just lies;
whispers the voice
as I lie in bed;
take it forward
or stay put;
I have no say,
its yours to prove.

Travel time and random observations

At times , we notice things which stay in our memories. Somethings we notice daily without fail or make a habit of noticing every time we pass through same place or meet same person. Maybe useless observations to most people , but still so much fun to you. That is a part of awareness of brain and interaction of different senses at that particular time. More like a context. Like a particular smell will ALWAYS remind you of some one, or a song is associated to some person. Such memory mappings are usually random when they first happen and later we do it consciously. Like I always search for a particular building when I travel from my place to nearest market. I just know when I will cross it and I try to locate if some one has started living there or not.

Now days all around you, we find people busy with themselves – on call , listening to music on earphones , reading, working offline , or sleeping at times. The sleeping ones and the reading ones are excused but for the rest , I feel they are losing so much in the time they are being so busy. Travelling should be treated as a break from every one and everything around. Being occupied all times dulls the senses. Travelling with open mind and senses aware , can be so relaxing and refreshing. One should at times just enjoy the feeling of journey – Each pause and acceleration.

Feel the flow of the vehicle you are in; or the rhythm of your steps as you walk – ’cause that’s how life is best enjoyed. In those few moments we are on our own , and can afford to switch off the world in our hearts.

In market of dreams

So much said of you and me ,
In direct lines
Or form of he and she;
So much I hide yet reveal
With words left alone
In market of dreams;
There goes the merchant
No heart and soul,
The riches lining the pot belly;
And ignored we stand
In different lanes,
Buying our share of misery;
In glances we feel
The forced smiles
Yet walk away guilt free.

 

A little while

Venus and The Sailor, 1925, by Salvador Dali

A little while,
more my love,
he whispers in my dreams
A little while
is all I need,
before this dreams cease to be;
A little while
you must wait
his unhurried touch speaks
a little while
is all I have
to let you know how I feel;
a little while
I understand
I have to make myself believe
Many of these
little while
is what life turns out to be.

Prompted @ The Mag , Carry on Tuesday , Sunday Scribblings

In Life’s journey

the roads pause
even if you do not;
round and round
the landmarks appear;
each experience lead to
same old thoughts;
midway or not -
its the point in life
we never realize
before it has passed
and we find a stranger
suddenly residing
within our heart and mind -
a new you,
prepared for
the new journey ahead…

–

Prompted @ Carry on Tuesday

Originally inspired by Musical Poetry Prompt : Gordon Lightfoot’s Don Quixote

Love and light

In his light
one finds the way
of glorified sacrifices,
of immortal history -
his love.

Elizabeth at Musical Notes : Poetry Prompt asked us to write a poem in 15 words or less , inspired after hearing the following song ” Joan of Arc” -

–

 

–

The song for em is a dialogue between god and her. And it literally moved me. I was in a trance sort. I heard it over and over. the metaphors , the voice , the music was just bang on !
And thats why it was so tough to write something that made sense after this heavy background ..

 

 

- I miss you, friend -

Shadows haunt my happiness,
a shade no one can see;
the joys plenty in my lap
tainted by my own wishes.
the tree studded paths
I walk holding love;
but the air is different,
also the filtered rays above.
Each laugh freed in day
returns with a memory
that steps into my heart
and stabs before going away.
Am not sad,if you ask
neither have been happy so
I am just missing the friend
the best,the one I need always.

 

Linked to OSI

foolish or proud

I do not know when and where this feeling got its root in my head but I never could ask some one to accompany me for a walk or shopping. If i wanted , I would just go ahead with it. This habit became more like a definition of me when a dear Friend got em going to movies alone and I so much loved them that way.

 It never felt odd initially till lot laters when I shifted to noida. for some reasons , I felt people did not take it as casually here if you are seen alone for shopping or movies. Maybe It is my assumption. But i did feel a little odd at times. If it was just for movies or shopping , it was ok. But it became a habit of NOT asking some one when I had to go out any where. Be it near or far , I adjust my schedule and travel times so that I can reach back home by 9. I do not like some one dropping me home. I would rather not go out than expect some one to bother about my return. There are not many people to whom I can ask rightfully to accompany me some where.

 

Some people think am too proud. Few think i am foolish to try to do everything on my own. for me , its just a precaution and necessity that I be able to function any where on my own – with friends or alone.

Poetry therapy.

Crash. Burn.Exhaust.
tears I submit at her doorsteps;
Bruised.Crumpled.Crouched.
the spirits lie split between head and heart.
She knows. She understands. she cries.
Words.Feelings.Blank.
thoughtless I wander back to her;
Tired.confused.Wordless.
she hands me to word thirsty pages.
I write. I rant. I cry again.
She saw me feed pain. She saw me bleed poetry.

.
This is dedicated to my mother who recently put up with all my mood swings and relentless questioning of myself and life. finally she asked me to write instead.  I was amused to note that even she realized nothing would cure me better.

 

Prompted @ Sunday Whirl

Also linked to Open Link Night.

Some blogs , some other stuff.

As a kid , I used to wait for the sunday ice creme treat from dad. and even before he could reach the shop , i would sit in front of the gate, waiting for him.

 

You know what reminds me of this image in my head ? Deboshree !! Every time she post on her blog , I wait for her to start checking other blogs. And finally I would get an email of her liking the post , followed by her comment. How much I always look forward to her words on my posts !!

 

 

She is one of the few people whom I not just think but feel and know I would love having as my friend. 

 

Witty and sensible , her blog is pure delight to read . 

 

( This is a cue for you to finally click on the hyperlink and read her blog  )

 

 

Now that I am finally writing this post , Let me introduce you to another wonderful blog I am hooked to these days. And its NOT a poetry / story blog. This time I am stalking a cookery blog. Such easy , yummy and mostly indian ones. One reason might be that , I have taken up cooking a little more serious now days since I am fed up of eating out (and the results are all great , trust me ) Some day If I ever start posting food pics and recepies,  not to be surprised people .. Till then, do check this blog  by @Womod/Pinksocks

 

 

Sadly I am not reading many of the blogs I so love and more sad is the fact that I have no idea why I do not get time for them. April was one month where I could not even finish 2 novels !! ( and I have a goal of 51 for 2012 ) ! But this month looks much better in all aspects .

 

I finally joined gym (after trying to avoid it from some weeks ) thanks to a tempting offer of some new dresses being gifted to me by a friend ! 

 

And my group book review blog can finally see some posts from me again !

 

Also, I might be soon bidding farewell to two very dear friends , which I can bear knowing that its their shining moment

 

No more for now ( I am tired of typing  )

 

More soon !!

Keep blogging and Stay nice to all !

 

Love !

 

Lost & Found

The card came in the morning.”Happy Wedding anniversary darling” was all it read . No flowers , no gifts to accompany it. She kept it on the table and read it every time she crossed it. Some times she simply stopped her chores and read the words. His words. After so many years together , she was not amazed to receive the card. But she knew the words had no weight. She felt a feeling of loss. why was she trying to find a meaning for her life in these words ?

The divorce happenned that weekend. He married her best friend the next.

Summers

one tree – one forest
summer bow to shades alike
lonely road ahead

 

Prompted @ Haiku Heights , PAD#10

Blessed by words – post#600

When winds refused
to raise the wings,
i grew for years
to help me stay above;
I cut them one by one
dripping blood and tears
and into a shell i went
away from all dear ones.
But words are stronger
then i ever imagined
a golden ray of hope,
I caught for escape.
only words did keep
the promise to stick,
people came closer
and some were let go,
but always did god grant
a special one to hold.
To all those special
and dear ones I raise
a wassil for lifetime
whether i stay around
or decide to move on.
today you people matter
and i wish to keep it so
till we forget our blessing,
and have our dreams lost.

 

This post#600 is dedicated to every one I met in my journey of writing on this page. Thank you every one. Bless you !

A special mention to the love i got from few people in my life that has kept me loyal to my first love – the love for words.
–
Prompted @ The Mag , OSI

Hello Visitors (#napowrimo day#2)

Hello visitors,
this you know is my dream;
a place I hope you know the limits
and the rules; yet unknown to me.
you show me places and events
that happened not,or maybe could have
some I wish never come true
others I feel I knew before you.
My mind’s state reflected often
my dreams I feel are powerful potion
made of your power of love
fighting my desperation for some.

–

Prompted @ sunday Scribblings (Reflect)

Napowrimo#2 : Write a poem inspired by the song that was #1 on the day that you were born. Find it via this page  . Mine was -  The Power Of Love – Jennifer Rush

Apr PAD#2 : write a visitor poem

Giving up

The twisted hallways,
that her thoughts made
were sources of illness,
she knew;
Miracles ceased to happen
with the last of his words,
echoing within gestures
she later saw;
Singing of bleak hopes
she hands her dreams
to the light that follows
her destiny;
Delivering justice to all
but none to carry her flame
she cries hard and gives up
at his grave.

–

Prompted @ OSI , Sunday Whirl wordle