Monthly Archives: February 2012

A blank sheet

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A blank sheet I am,
and so I would remain,
if left alone in a corner,
to await a turn of fate.

I like not myself like this,
some words i always want,
to make my life a little better
will you not give me a chance ?

I slip out of my place
and follow you around
towards winds i try to crawl
unless you hold me down.

Oh the first scratch,
the strikes and the flowing lines
the words, the tears, the smiles,
these memories will keep me alive.

Inspired by this poem : http://musingsofachaoticsoul.blogspot.in/2012/02/blank-piece-of-paper.html

Image Source

Painting

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source : imgfave.com

Words, feelings and pauses,

she knew her stance with him,

she saw not where his lines were

but she did fit her cursive style well.

The spaces felt redundant often,

fingers wrote what ink failed,

envelop of hugs carried letters

of dreams shared never before.

Not like the detailed paintings

they created in the past – but

overlapping lines of modern art,

they merged in colors and tones

whispered in the clear cuts

and slept within the blurred

boundaries.the painting had a life.

At the Grocer’s

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She picked her stuff like colors – yellow bell peppers , green beans , cottage cheese , ripe tomatoes , onions , and lot of spices. He watched her with a curious look.

Finally he dared to ask , “Darling, are you cooking tonight ?”
“Not today. But very soon I will.”
“Then this shopping ?”
“My cooking classes begin tomorrow.” she proudly declared.

–

Prompted by vivekisms to write a 55 word story  on “At the Grocer’s”

Loving & Loved

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There are some days when you feel loved. And some when you love. It is not being in love. but just having some one to love still. From the first crush till today , I can almost name some person with whom I “thought” I was in love. Maybe I really was. But those days are past. Those reasons and emotions are past. Today I love people for making me feel good. It’s not about praising me always but more like, appreciating the good I have and forgiving me for the bad. For making me change myself and not just dictating the rules like rest of the world. Gender or age does not bother me these days. I just love the person for the heart and mind that walk with him/her.And to think of the fact that I found feelings like these to be weird at one time. Call it maturity or jsut craziness, making some one smile and smile with him/her can sure make your day a blessing !

Only if I could put words to such feelings in a way not to offend/scare the people concerned ;)
But maybe these unexpressed thoughts are what add to the enigma of loving and being loved.

Rise in Love. And stay in love. Accept being loved.

(This post was inspired by a twitter conversation with @ScribblingOn )

 
JourneyTowardsEpiphany

Answer to my calls

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Some S.O.S calls are bizarre just for the fact that you never made them. some times you stand at a point in life, like at an empty booth and pretend to make a call to random stranger. You tap on the smudgy side glass to check if some one noticed you and feel both good and not. Good that no one would call you a fool and sad that the hopes to get some one to talk would be lost. Ghosts of your restless wishes seep through your sub-consciousness and without realization you make a call to God.

I might have made one such call, when I met him. silent and reserved, he was unlike any friend I ever had. Attentive and sensitive were some of the other words I would later describe him. A smile to fall in love with and words to die for. A friend I dare say I did not deserve , some one I never expected to come across even.

When you meet friends, we talk , and talk more and talk till we depart. We share stuff , we hide some, we smile more and cry so less. I had always known such friends. And they are one of the best. But little did I know even silence had a way among friends.

Nestled between insane talks and crazy stories , silence like shadows lined the street we walked. For fun, we faced the scorching heat of summers and challenged each other to slide on the ice grounds in our make-believe world. But often found ourselves staring curiously at the world and shrugging it off with carefree laughter.

Once some one commented on having a friend with whom she doesn’t have to always talk. I found it amusing as well as a challenge to be such a person. Today I realize i have found that friend in him. I never have to worry what next to say to him, what next to expect to hear. Never am I in a hurry to tell him my stories neither does he hurries his narration. We remain silent and engaged in our own task, without a care. This non-compulsion to speak is something I value the most with him. nothing I say around him or do, makes me feel odd or even him I suppose. This is indeed a new experience and one I will cherish forever.

thank you god for such a wonderful friend.

thank you dear friend, for making of such valuable memories.

 

words we painted : me , @anushreekejriwa and @crosescribe

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blue rose tells red sky purple stories of love

she sees colours of love when she looks into the mirror but is surrounded by dull clouds around her.

a plain love was what she wished for ; yet made to see everything except the true colors .

nothing in her life was meant to be plain. Calmness on her face hid the turbulent waves of sadness inside.

nothing in life is ever plain or maybe not; depends who sees what and how !

she took her heart ~ folded into the clouds above ~ let it float away ~ to rain down on her true love

raindrops fell on the loved one but he was already drenched by the beauty of another butterfly.

some butterflies lose colors, when rains are bent , to wash them away

I can taste the clouds in your tears and the hint of love in your fears

the heart is scared to respond and tears are flowing with a wish that they will be able to calm her.

we start as worms and that is where we will return

and make sure we are remembered by the days in between :D

the earth engulfs her with open arms and she finally sleeps in peace :)

hand and hand we return to the earth ~ sisters of time ~ ready to witness the next birth

while crossing the gate she wishes to step into the new world with an invigorating spirit :)

memories in one hand , dreams in another , she moves on , with added burdens

with hope she prays that she will be blessed with a shoulder to share her burdens with

take my shoulders and Ill carry you to the beholder 

I repose faith in you and trust the beholder..


When nimue met Arpita ;)

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An awkward hug and introductions done,
setting the context and randomness,
venue reached and feel the energy flow
check random stalls,some more explored;
books attract, so does book-full talks,
while among illustrations, and stories we walked.
Books bought (as expected or maybe not)
the shine in eyes bright even at the thought,
Oh did I mention the mean call made,
to make some one jealous of my day;
sizzling hot Momos and chilled fruit beer,
not more interesting than our banter though;
Books were borrowed,the objective of meeting met
but more special was the mutual feeling
of reaching out to similar minded gems.

–

I wish I had few pics toa dd here, anyways , This post is a memory of meeting Arpita today afternoon. I had always enjoyed her reviews at the book blog I am a part of. but meeting was so much more fun ! Looking forward to see you again soon.

And oh, thanks for the treat ;)

Enjoy the books :D !

the “impatient” me

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Today I had a fight with dad. Ok, I might have been at fault since I did not explain my stand clearly to him, but that is not the point here. He yelled a bit, and when I acted like a brat, he simply disconnected the call. He had sense not to let me make a bigger fool of myself. Something I will never forget for long. I felt so ashamed. He had never refused to hear me, be it any time or about any thing. And I could not do that for just a min. Why could I not keep shut that moment ?

And worse, As always, I innediately launched into a self-pity mood. I started feeling that nothing is going right today or this week infact. how I could be doing better, or why I deserve a better life. Not realizing, I do have a better life today than yesterday or last month or last year. Each day is better in some way, even if it is only for the fact that you realize you have a chance to make good of your life.

Thanks to a dear friend to kick me out of this mood with her harsh words. I totally deserved that.

Dad, I know we both are part wrong, part right. But I swear, I will not lose my patience so soon ever again.Not with you, not with any one who I know has onyl my good in mind.

To Myself, I promise to use my energies not to suck but to get up and get moving. As my friend said, use every negative emotion to make you work for removing that obstacle.

Even with brush of sadness,

A pretty picture you can create

if you remember colors reflect

what you in your heart wish to paint.

 

JourneyTowardsEpiphany

…..

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dinon ko saalon me badalte der na lagi,
saalon ko har din gin gin kar jiyaa hai maine,
baaton ko yaadein bante der na lagi
yaadon ko kahani kisse bana kar likha hai maine
sawaalon ko mohabbat bante der na lagi,
ishq ko har raat ashq banaa kar rakha hai maine …

Fingers

by

My fingers often trace
the features on my face
as I sit alone and wonder
about myself,on that day.

Pulling my pink cheek
and pressing nose tip,
I smile as I wonder
the last time he did this.

My tears I would wipe
each eye with same finger
and stare at the wetness
that like a pool gathers.

With light they play like shadows
and in darkness they explore
these fingers never go silent
whether they mean to or not.

 

–

Inspired by We Wrie Poems (Write a poem about your fingers)

In bed

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“So where were you this weekend?” he asked as soon as he saw me enter the corridor.
“In bed”, I replied, trying not to sbe stopped there for a chat.
“With ?”,he asked with a naughty smile, in a not-so-low manner.
“with a high temperature and headache”, I snapped back at him, irritated at answering the same joke to all.

He scowled at me and walked off, eating any other comment he wished to further make.
Perfect V day beginning, I muttered under my breath. If only he would stop acting so smart ass always, I thought and went the opposite way.

 —

For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week, Dili challenged me with “If you always try to sound smart you will end up coming out dumb.” and I challenged Leo with “Image prompt : http://pull.imgfave.netdna-cdn.com/imag … 02864.jpeg“

Love crumbs

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you – not you -

me – with -

without you;

some words…
like crumbs,
stick to my feet,
dragged along,
snipping at silence,
his “not-like-love”
ambush my thoughts
much before zenith;
a slap from reality
or reality slapped on me -

you – me – us

no more – still …

That’s all I get outta my head for tryign to make a “Valentine Poem”

<3  or </3

;)

Happy Valentine’s Day to couples & single ones alike ! 

Keep loving yourself, and others too <3

–

Linked to Monday Melting and Open Link night

A thank you note !

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Each morning when I wake up, I do not thank God for the wonderful day he blessed me with. I instead check upon my emails , text messages and tweets. As I go about my day, I think of God once in a while – to crib , complain or an occasional thank you for setting something unexpectedly right for me. But do I thank him without a cause ? Oh, I remember I do. when I sit back and contemplate what is wrong with my life. And as I sis to find ways to fix them, I say to God, Oh dude, you gotta help me with this. Please !

I have a lot of questions to ask, and a lot of answers to share with him. I totally believe in “everything happens for good”. I have lived this epiphany a lot of times in the last 10 years. And yet, when I need to cry , I must and I do. No reasons or excuses given to any. When I am upset , I just am. No reasons or excuse small or big enough to justify my sour mood.

I am not perfect – oh I am far from it. But I try.I try hard. And all that I wish is God to see through those tries and trials and keep me safe and blessed.

Oh God,

I hope you will forgive me not praying daily.

I hope you know I love and respect your words a lot but I fail to follow them always. I hope you keep loving me the same as today. And last, I hope you keep all these hopes alive in me, as long as I live.

Bless me !

Bless all !

–

 
JourneyTowardsEpiphany

A dream ?

by

Her flesh turned colors
from deep red to pale green
like the devil he dreamt of
each night of the last week.

with razor sharp nails,
she tore his heart aside
leaving a pool of blood
crawling around like reptiles.

Next she plucked his soul
that lie hidden in his eyes
and when she was done,
she hypnotically collapsed…

It was a dream he thought
when his hysteria woke him,
to find a green face in the mirror
and her heart, like resin, burning .

 

–

Blame watching “supernaturals” these days, for this poem :D

Linked to 3ww and Monday Melting

No wedding without him

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That wasn’t supposed to happen. The wedding could not happen without him. And yet, there was no news of his whereabouts. 12 Hours before she sat in front of the sacred fire, she was excited and nervous like all brides but not for the life that awaited her. She was anxious to see him, to see his smile as she appeared in her wedding attire and his “i knew it” eye roll. She smiled at the thought while keeping an eye on her phone.

It suddenly lit up. A message from him

“You sure about this ?”

“Do not be late” , she texted back
“You deserve better than me, I repeat.”
“I know, you have said it enough times”
“I left you so many times”
“and yet you returned each time”
“This time was the longest”
“3 years.Thanks for returning. See you tomorrow.”
“It will be a pleasure to see you married finally”
“Yeah, and to free you from me”
“Wow. I can date any number of girls after tomorrow”
“Sure, Just send me the best stories”
“You still the same.Shameless and fun”
“Like always.Bye now. I need my beauty sleep”
“Love you princess. Hope your prince treats you better than me”

She did not want to reply to that.She did not know what to say.

–

For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week, Diane challenged me with “You deserve much better than me.” and I challenged Michael with “A bottle and a glass together changed the night for her; something even his smile could not”

Also linked to Inspiration Monday [ That wasn't supposed to happen ]

I wish to cry in your arms

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I wish to cry in your arms,

and you to not ask me why,

For no real reason to quote,

I want you to let me cry…

Soon some day, or maybe later

I will lose this freedom with you,

Before that, I once wish you know

I never cried ‘cause you would cry too…

To see your smiles on my cheek

I laughed at your pranks and talks

To gather every second in your arms

I never thought of separate paths..

But away you must go now,

And find for yourself a different fate

Before I break down and let out tears

that gather each time I miss you here.

The call that came,but late

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It all started with this post by poohi.

that lead to a poem by Martin & poohi’s reply to the poem as detailed here.

And then i joined with these lines :

—

The call that never came,
did happen one fine day;
alas, it was a bit too late,

neither happy nor sad,
for the words exchanged,
the pain was too heavy
to carry its own weight,
the complaints too many
to be silenced by excuses of fate;
the eyes too parched
to cry and let things be fine,
the distances too large
to make you my sunshine;
The call that never came,
should never have changed,
neither happy nor sad,
yet disappointed by the same
—
Poohi replied to these these lines and that too is added to the above linked post.
Any more inspired thoughts or ideas ?
Do tell me about “a call” that came or not, on time or not !
–
Brian wrote another poem on “the call” .. I hope I could say this myself ..