previous tries -
the writing ghosts around me
will this year it end ?
(Written for Haiku Heights , Sunday Scribbling )
I have thought many times to write a novel and twice to even start writing one. but this year I wish to make a better attempt at writing and so I decided to take part in NaNoWriMo from tomorrow. wish me luck !
(Written for Haiku Heights , Sunday Scribbling )
“I always thought, you would be married by now.” , he said, smiling at her.
“I hoped so too”, she replied, avoiding his gaze.
“Then why not ? I told you I don’t love you”, he said little impatiently.
“I do”
“You should have said , I did , not do”
And they both laughed. All was still same.
==
This was inspired by my own story “Wait” , for which I thought this could be an alternate ending.
Also linked to G-Man’s friday flash55
Heart should have remained
silent when you had asked
if i ever loved,
had i not wished
an affirmative answer,
and you perhaps otherwise,
we would not be where we stand
loved, hurt and inclined to part
not by choice
or force of time
but still at crossroads
facing away
and heading out,
alone but not lonely
with tears but of memories,
pricked by figments of the silence
that would have saved
this vulnerable soul
from hardening thus.
–
Originally written in response to this poem, edited and submitted for 3ww
also linked to Poetry Tow Truck
there is sadness
and then there it is not;
there is randomness
and yet it really is not;
you have no reason
but still you feel so lost;
you call it a season
when all you know feel so.
Well Its a season of festivals going on in my part of the world.. lot of colors , smiles , gifts and all things dazzling. and yet, i wrote this verse today evening as i sat alone. and I realize its a seasonal thing for me , this lonely feeling in middle of celebrations. I celebrate loneliness ’cause that’s who I am, who I will be and who is the strength of my life. Cheers !
And on that note, Wish you all a very happy diwali !!
Menka wanted nothing more than him at that point. Him, not physically maybe ,but even his presence in her life would have been enough for her to live another day with a smile. Only if things happened the way we wished. Even when they do, we can not grasp the reason or effect of the event. Menka was surprised to find his email next day. He was getting married. The guy who refused her love for fear of commitment was marrying next week. She was not surprised. She had won the bet after all. she had challenged him on their last meeting to try and stay away from love and relationships. He wanted her to meet once before the wedding, as per Menka’s wish in case he lost the bet. And so they met – he, his fiancee and Menka. He came straight to the point.
“I know what you want to ask”, he said after the waiter had served them coffee. “I chose Monica for all the reasons, I ever loved you for.”, he continued.
“Her name even is similar to mine”, I said, sarcasm dripping from my words.
“Oh, I gave her that name. for the same reasons you said just now.”
“then why not Menka?”
“She is not you.”
“but like me”
“yeah”
“and you did not marry me ’cause?”
“I would not be able to leave you once i accept you as my life partner”
“and you plan to leave her?”
“yes, in about 5-10 years”
“And you are ok with that” , Menka directed this to the lady, who was by that time silently enjoying her coffee.
“Actually its mutual agreement. I just want to be married as long as my current assignment in India. I will settle in some other country later and forever.” she stated the plan casually.
Menka could not think of anything to say. She expected him to have such an approach to life but it was a complete shocker to her to meet a girl having same ideas.
“you did not lose the bet in that case.”Menka finally managed to say.
“I know. but I still wanted you to know of this before I married.”
“And why?”
“To give you hope, I might return to you once i am free of this relation”
“And you think I will wait that long?”
“you have been waiting for 3 years, another 4-5 will not matter to you. Will it ?”
“I some time hate to think I loved you”, Menka said as she left the table, much more upset than she was when she read the email 3 days back.
He watched as she removed her clothes and threw them all over his room. The game had begun, the trap has been set, she was his for the night and tomorrow no one would ever know they ever existed. The hot night aroused him as her cold hands took hold of him and led him to the table. They sat face to face, naked flesh glistening with sweat and oil mixed together as she started the chants. He gradually started losing control over his reflexes and suddenly he panicked. He opened his eyes and found himself staring into a spiral ball of darkness. He screamed as the darkness sucked his blood via his fingers and left the lifeless body behind in her lap.
She kissed him deep, tasting his powers and merging them with hers. Then suddenly she paused, looked at herself and could not believe she was turning into him. She was soon hit with the real meaning behind the spell he taught. He had finally got rid of the decaying body and owned hers now. It was too late to regret and all she could do was to succumb to his plan, as she felt her memories being trapped and pushed into the corner. He was ready to rise and rule again, but h will never let her forget what her body was being used for.
I
now days
miss reading
all the wonderful
lines and ideas
floating around on web,
the games words play with people
and tricks of mind applied every where,
the way they entertain and enchant
and inspire my muse to soar high and bright
.
.
This Etheree has been inspired by dVerse Poets’ Pub @ http://dversepoets.com/
He rarely drank. and when he did, he rarely remembered what he did. And that’s why he never called any one when drunk, except that day. He called Preeti, no idea why. she came to see him, he knows this since she left a note for him.
What he never could ask her was, what had they talked about that night.Preeti never talked about the night either. She would not have avoided talking of it, had Abhi ever mentioned. He didn’t,so she too thought not to.
And so went the days, with both being good friends, or whatever it was between them till the next time he drank again and called her. Preeti came without much delay after he called her to his place. She was used to visit him almost every weekend and she knew how to handle Abhi in any mood or state. She was waiting for this meeting since the last one. Abhi sat on the corner of his bed smoking and playing his guitar. He was singing her favorite song. She smiled for she loved to hear him sing. She went and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He looked up and grinned at her, like a 5 year old kid would do after he has sucessfully managed a prank.
"So you came. I thought you will not", he said , the second sentence a bit slowly as if he was ashamed of calling her.
"And why do you think so?"
"I do not know what happened last time I was drunk."
She was surprised for a moment, and then she laughed. He kept staring at her. and finally when he could not wait any more, asked her why she was laughing.
"So that’s why you never talked about it? I thought you would want to do it again, when you called,So I came prepared this time."
It was his turn to blush. "you mean we .." he could not finish the sentence before she interrupted, "what we ? Not we.. You .."
"what did I do ?"
She was silent for a long time as she searched for something in her bag and then finally said, "You made a painting of me – a black and white portrait.Its the same one on the wall of my room. And you kept mumbling about not having colors. So I bought them for you this time." she said as she took the colors out of her bag and placed on his hands.
tentatively
your dreams approach me,
as i begin to relax in mine;
breaching my privacy,
baring my soul naked,
they tease my senses,
arouse my desire
untill i whisper
your name between sobs
of guilty pleasure,
like embers of my flesh
aglow in your gaze,
I surrender to you,
your need of me,
and mine of you …
–
Prompted @ 3WW
It was a beautiful night. She had invited Rajat to her home for the first time. She did not want to, but she was tired of spending night at his room. the small room even if well-lit, appeared to be suffocating, which it was owing to Rajat’s smoking habit.
Rajat reached on time with food and beer in hand. she was expecting flowers instead of beer she said as she led him inside her room, which meant that beer would not be had tonight. Oh, they had to cross a huge hall and kitchen before they reached he room. The room had a single bed and a small couch, which Rajat pulled near the bed and settled himself in it, only ’cause the soft toys on the bed looked repulsive to him. When she came, she frowned at him, her room’s new look with couch moved and declared that the room was not comfortable for two people. They both could not lie together on the single bed and the couch was not a good place to spend the night for any one so they should move to her roomie’s room which had a double bed. Rajat was shocked of course,and confused too. He could not imagine why they must sit one arm distance apart when they had been sleeping together from a month, but he refused to move from his place. He took coffee from her hand and settled again with peanuts in other hand. The coffee was too milky which of course was not how Rajat liked it. He went to the kitchen and added another spoon of coffee powder and a little milk and of course sugar too while she looked at him and went about how unhealthy it is to have so much sugar and coffee.
An hour later, at the dinner table she complained about Rajat getting food from outside when she had already got dinner made for them. What Rajat could not mention was that her food was too bland for even patients to be given. And he loved the food spicy and oily. After all, a life without spice is no life !
There were lots of talks [ tried by Rajat] , advice [ all by her ] and some action too [ to decide where they both could sleep comfortably, one arm distance apart ] that night.
And next day Rajat knew he was right not to propose her. She would stay the way she was in her life and where she was in his.
All she could remember was the smile he had given her when they first met across the smoky screens. And of course the nick name – Tamanna ,meaning desire. She loved it as much as she was close to him. And now, she had finally left him long behind in her life. Was she really so away from him, she wondered as she looked at her reflection in the window.
With such thoughts still floating in her head,she left the bed and opened the window.It opened to the view of mountains, and she smiled at the knowledge that he would have loved the view. Then she turned her attention to other important tasks of the day - setting up the kitchen, unpacking the boxes and filling her bedroom. Other rooms were already furnished and decorated as part of the deal she made with the previous owners.
Once all was done, she opened the bag full of his memories – his diary where he first confessed his love for her , his favorite pillow that still carried scent of his tears, his box of candies and his favorite pink socks. Now that she had managed to have him dead and buried in the operation theater, or as others would say, he had sacrificed to let her live instead,she could be herself, not the forced himself ! She smiled. It was a tough decision for him. but they had made it through the transition.It was worthy to be one , rather than die accommodating two in the same body.He was happy too, she knew, wherever he chose to be.
It’s good to be back !
No matter how much I assume otherwise , opening the “new post” page itself sets my ideas on a roll ! But the last two weeks been a lot hectic and fun for more than one reasons ..
Had 2 weddings in the family [so lot of travelling days followed by days of sleepy state ], had my b’day this thursday [ lot to tell about it. will write another post] , started writing another poetry collection [ don't know what shape it will take as of now ] , spent one weekend watching lot of movies [ 3 in theater , 2 on laptop ], downloaded a lot of new songs from latest Bollywood albums and best of all , I decided to try my fiction writing skills this month [ maybe an excercise before NANOWRIMO next month ] and as always , the random poetry lines kept me company on twitter !
Phew ! And you people thought i was totally free ??
So starting tomorrow , I will be posting 10 fiction posts before nov-1. Please do read and provide your honest critical views about them. I would be glad to improve and learn a bit more from this.
Can not think more as of now..
till later , keep writing and reading.
To the confused one, who is as lost as her mother doesn’t want her to be
and as observant as the world would not know;
To the book lover who smiles and cries with the words she reads and writes
and yet no longer believes in fairy tales;
To the music addict whose tastes can give almost any one a shock
and yet she proudly flaunts it most times;
To the one friend who cares , and the lover of painful memories
and creator to hopeless expectations;
To the dreamer , the poet , the lonely singer ,
the occasional brat , the one and only “devil’s princess” !
Happy b’day !
