Easier said than undone,
the exchange of words,
the feelings and hurt;
Easier asked than heard
the answers you know
of questions so old;
Easier shared than not
the honest words with rest
but is it always for best ?
.
.
I am going on a break from blogging till my b’day next month.
till then, I might not even be reading blogs.
And this is not going to be easy 
Keep writing !
God bless !!
I fear the audio volume is very less even with headphones .. so here’s the poem :
Munching on cup noodles,
I reflect on the hours gone by..
the cold tea residues
evoke a warm smile,
as much as the memory
of the talks,
that flowed around it.
the pizza box would probably
have one last slice left;
and I am reminded of the
cheese dripping grins
that were followed
by the dreamy walk
through choclate and
the orange tinted roads..
As I pack my bags,
with borrowed books and movies,
a sense of satisfaction
shines in my smile
and i look at you -
the host and the friend
sharing another laugh
over another silly text..
And I wish I could tell
how much the time spent
was loved and will forever
be cherished as well …
–
This is a dedication to my best friend who finally hosted a movies night at his place ! It was a great time !!
ek bel thi main, mujhe bas failna aata tha ,, jaane kyon mujhe tumahre paas rakha bhagwaan ne, jaise ek bijli ki taar.. jisme zindagi itni ki kisi ko bhi hila de, par itni parton me dabai hui ki mere hone na hone ka koi asar bhi na ho .. main tumahre sang badhti rahi , tumahri raahon par tumahre peeche aati rahi ,, tumahri zindagi ka hissa ban gayi jabki tumko kabhi ye pata bhi nahi tha .. aur ek din tum gire ,, main saath giri , tum toote , main murjhai , par tum me to ehsaan nahi the .. tum fir aage badh liye .. main wahin khatam ho gai …
[ This post is in hindi. English translation might be done some time later]
raat ki kalikh nikli nahi thi poori tarah asmaan se, ki subah apni gulabi rath par savaar nikal padi sunehri kirne baantne .. Is sharmaate hue asmaan se main bhala kaunsa rang chura paati .. Aage badhi to paaon tale peele bhoore patte pukarte hue lage. Main muskai aur kuch ko pyaar se utha kar hawa me chod diya. Wapis is udaan ki khushi unse jyaada shayad neeche pade patton ko hui thi, aisa laga mujhe .. In patton se main kya rang maangti jo khud hi apna rang khoye baithe the.. Laal foolon ka apna adda tha aur neele phool har rah ko mehkaate. kuch peele phool pattos se jhad kar mandir me le jaane ka intezaar kar rahe the aur kuch gulabi phool meri muskaan ki wajah ban gaye ,, un rangeen phoolon se mujhe kya mil jaata ,,
Main ek safed phool ki jhalak dil me basaaye laut aai ….
I cared,
I liked,
I loved you even
We talked
We shared
We fought each other
People, things,
issues, news,
we heard each other.
silently
unknowingly
accurately
we felt each other.
nothing was said
nothing left unsaid,
nothing ever simple
we just meant for each other.
One smile
One look
One expression
All passed when we hugged each other.
–
This poem is dedicated to an old friend..
I wrote this hindi couplet today evening :
Dhundli yaadon ko khojti hoon kai baar,
shayad meri pehchaan mil jaaye;
jise choda tha tere sang chalne ko
shayad vo asmaan mil jaaye …
And here is the english translation for the same..
Among faded memories,
I search many a times,
as hopeful to find
the lost part of me …
as much i wish
to regain my sky
that I left behind
to walk on earth
arms in arms with you …
If I look backward till the time I can remember, I always seen my mom as a strong lady – more emotionally than physically. There are many an incidents I can recall where she showed her confident self to the world. My dad never had to bother of any household issue or event happening outside home with any of the kids ( and he still doesn’t ). Mom took care of all and everything. I particularly remember her going to a guy’s home and slapping him when he misbehaved with her friend’s daughter. To this date, very few people know of the incident but those who know, are still in awe of her. Or the one time when she walked all alone from my place to her friend’s house at 10 in night to be with her as her husband was admitted to the hospital. She took the role of care taker and protector with such ease that people in old neighborhoods still praise her to no end.
And when last weekend we went shopping, I saw her in new light. My mom was scared of the busy traffic , of the blaring horns and angry drivers. I did not realize first that she was left behind as i walked ahead. It was a minute later that i saw her across the road, a little confused and skeptical of crossing the road. I waited long but she did not seem to decide well. So I finally went back, held her hand and crossed the road with her.
Late in the night, I sat and wondered if it was a casual omission on my side to forget she was aging. My mom was getting old every year and I refused to notice ? Or did I not acknowledge the fact ! Whatever be it, It was a sad realization for a moment. I felt so protective suddenly and at the same time so helpless.
I just do not want to see her that scared again. ever !
Across the walls,
the lined heaven’s halls,
I heard you laugh
over some silly talk.
Parting the waters,
busy in your chatter,
you stepped out in sun
among mortals one.
In the temple I prayed
to see you once again
not aware it might attract
your soul out of death pact.
Just when I wanted to call
and wished you would halt,
you smiled at me so nice
it filled me with a light.
speaking to me in my mind
you asked me to wait for time
when its right to meet again
at foot of life’s fountain.
Years I spent searching
in forests and clearing
for the fountain you meant
and realized now, its my death
–
Prompted @ Poets United , Also linked to DVerse Pub
One word that repeats
in all its pages -
LOVE : different days,
different ways,
for different people
my heart did sway..
But did you not know
the pattern that was
of liking and failure
the emotional contrast..
dear notebook, I know
you gave me signs
of potential troubles
much before time..
you even wrote in bold
the true feelings i had
but could you not teach
the mind to not go mad..
of HIM i think so much now
but do I ever stand a chance
to let him hear my doubt
where in his life do I stand ?
–
Prompted @ OSI [ notebook]
He had never shed a tear.
She rarely slept without her eyes wet.
He had never let any one cry in front of him.
She always called some of her friend when she cried.
He could never control some one’s tears
She could always make some one smile.
He wanted to break free still,
She let him free without a word.
He now cries daily before sleep
She is the angel of his dreams.
–
I wanted to write a fiction post but some how the words kept knocking my head. Loosely inspired by a convo with a friend.
You exist I know,
yet I yearn to hear and say -
like fish to the air
“It’s a gift and a curse” he said, handing me the drink. I had no energy to hear him but I did . After all, when all had left , he looked back and stayed for me.
“Each wonderful evening ends with such mess”, he looked around and laughed. I just let out a sigh of agreement.
–
Prompted @ Sunday Picture Press and Monday Inspiration
Written for G-Man’s Friday flash55
stay hidden my love
he knows not you exist even -
did night know of sun ?
She closed her notebook and looked at the empty side of the bed. There was no trace of anyone ever being there but in her heart she knew, he had visited her last night. In her dreams, when she undressed, he had waited patiently as each mask was discarded and she stood naked in front of the mirror, admiring each part of her body that his eyes loved to drink. He did not have to hide himself – not in her dreams. He was always there , like master of that towering castle she lived in. Always following her thoughts with a knowing smile and sipping her words straight from her lips, he lived within her , his love flowed like blood through her heart, his desires burned her skin making it glow.With these ideas in her head, she held out her hand to the pillow on her side and felt moist lips kissing it.Sshe smiled, picked her cell and sent him a text :
“Let me into your dreams tonight,
I know they are not different than mine”
observe in hypnosis
the lonely heart thus erodes-
screaming its last
–
Written for 3WW and Haiku heights
And I thought I could not live through the pain
of losing first the people,
better to death i said once in rage;
losing people and then the things
that reminded me of those gone,
that was bound to hurt,and a lot.
what would have held my tears better
But the void i feared did not hurt,
memories flooded it like warm blood,
pain was numbing , tears all dry,
words were lost and so was a part of me.
lost things never hurt more than people
there was no desperate attempts
to restore any of that , any time
the things i mean, not relations
as if you alone could make them work
the emptiness hardened the heart
more than the people who stepped over it..
–
This was a response to Tuesday Tryout : Poem on things meaningful to you . Last month my laptop got formatted by mistake and I lost all my poetry , music , movies , pictures and what all .. And that emptiness still lives in my heart but strangely , it did not hurt any day , I never thought about it until i read the prompt.
Also submitted to dVrse Poets pub
you drive me insane; actually you have managed to do this years back. now.. well now you just paint it a shade darker and damp.. dark enough to hit me hard and damp with the pain, i carry for days. it creeps me like some worm infested fruit that am forced to eat. no wonder it leaves a bad puking taste in the mouth. even the friendly consolations that its all in my head and not real, does not change the fact that it makes me inhuman. always like that to others trying to be close to me. will it drive you away is not a fear i live with , but a nightmare i wake up from each night…
