Kuch aisa bana mujhe tu apna ki begaani duniya se ho jaaun ..
[ Make me yours in a way that am alienated from the rest of the world.. ]
Wrote this line inspired by some text i got last evening. And as I sat and read it again, I had the following lines to add :
In search of him
I roam no where
but my heart
wanders;
a dream
lives in the eyes
faceless being invades
the city of pleasures
and stabs me
with the wait;
to witness reality
however harsh it is
but mine to just live,
his to claim a right
and ours to shape it new.
Currently
living parallelly
to me,is his world
haunting my cold days
with darkness of the night;
creating monsters
out of the sweet nothings
we never could exchange ..
–
Prompted @ OSI , Sunday scribblings
submitted to Poets Rally week 50
his world haunting my cold days…this is incredible understanding od longing for a love
excellent
Jaye
that quotation is a killer! ang ganda!
“and stabs me with the wait…” God, Nimue, an excellent phrase. Like love being just out of reach, or perhaps she must sit and wait for it to catch up to her, or else go parallel in search… lovely poem, truly. Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/a-new-day-sun-scribs-poetic-bloomings/
Do we lead parallel lives with our true love or do our perpendicular lives converge?…Such is the eternal question…
Beautifully written .made my heart smile
Sometimes perhaps we need another to feel as if we belong..it is lonely and hard waiting for them..you captured that well..Jae
Are us men really worth it? Why cannot that yearning hurt be seen as a joyous anticipation? Despite that I thought your piece was very moving.
This is so sad and heart breaking ~
Like the Quote, gives more info on the poem
Lovely expressed longing. And the longing never ceases to exist. With intelligence or with rationale.
A very moving piece indeed, Nimue.. maybe that wait will soon come to an end..!
I love the question of whether or not we live parallel lives or perpendicular lives – a good question to keep asking!
beautiful expressions…
happy rally.
A sad tale. Oh to break free….
Very Nice Poetry with an amazing Imagination
Great Work of Creativity !! Highly Expressive !!
It was indeed enjoyable after reading this one !!
Anyways, Take a look some of my Poetry Collections …
http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/category/talent-underground/poetry-zone/
some of my Haiku Collections
http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/category/creative-challenges/the-haiku-challenge/
and also, on my very recent Work as well
http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/india-of-my-dream/
!!! Happy Rally !!!
Cheers !!
Very moving and haunting poem. Love it.
Melanie
Excellent verse…”stabs me
with the wait;” This I like best!
My, oh my! Those words in the text are one of the best messages I’ve ever read and your follow up lines soothes. Nicely done.
Cheers!
From one Line, to a Beautiful Poem, keep it up. ^^
http://ankokuhikaru.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/poetry-rose-masquerade/
“creating monsters out of the sweet nothings we never could exchange” Oh, to wake up to the longing of his touch. I know this feeling. This aching feeling. What a beautiful poem of longing!