Pic propmted at One Shoot Sunday
This is the first time i am going to write some thing of this sort on my blog. No imagination, no fiction, just whatever random thoughts i have in my mind , though not too long i hope.
Being alone does not mean to live alone, but to be able to survive most days alone. There are times when we all need company or support of friends and family, but if you can be happy the rest of the days on your own, I think you will live happy most life.
My first step to being alone was to go out for a movie on y own. I never liked people who talk in middle of the movie. And i prefer NOT to be disturbed when i am watching movie in a theater. But still, watching a movie alone was a weird idea. Thanks to my friends who happen to forget me when going for a movie, i went alone to watch the next movie before any of them so i can trouble them by telling the story (mean i know, but it worked in my favor ) I loved going alone , having the whole popcorn tub to yourself and not having some one disturb to tell you how lovely the heroine’s dress looked or that she looks fat (She still is acting darling, unlike you and me)
Next step was to go out for coffee alone. I know coffee places are best to meet friends, sit , talk and relax. But what to do f all of your friends prefer proper meal time at a costly restaurant than the coffee time ? (no wonder most of the guys are single ! A lot can happen ONLY over a coffee guys ) So one day when i was tired of making any one move their lazy bones out of the house, i took my novel, my Ipod and went to the nearest coffee house. And i so much loved the time ! I spent two hours there and had to be reminded to return home. That was the day I knew i could be on my own.
I do not like shopping (Yes, i hate it unless i am in dire need to buy some thing) and i absolutely hate window shopping. Initially i used to accompany my friends for shopping but most times i would drift apart to a book store and be lost among the books. Soon they stopped asking me to come with them unless they do not have any one else. And so it became a bit difficult for me to ask any of them to come with me for shopping trips. So i started going alone at times. Now i am totally comfortable doing that. Not that i enjoy it much. Its just another task for me.
That leaves us with being alone in your house ; with or without people around. I love talking so its always fun to have friends around but when left on my own, i prefer being with books and music. Books are your best friends, no doubt about it now. Any time, any where, books can be your saviour from boredom. Another hobbly that i picked last year was writing. It started with saving some tweets on a blog and then moved on to writing short poems and fiction. Look around , notice people, keep your mind open and you will always have a story to tell.
And still on days, when nothing of this fills the vaccum of your heart, be sure you still have a few friends who understand your need to be alone and love you still as much. Friends with whom silence speaks more than the words. so you can tell them that some days, being alone makes you feel lonely too.
PS : There is still one thing i have not had the heart to try , and that is going out for a dinner alone. Maybe this year !
“Will you paint today”
“She has not shown her face yet”
“you saw her,right?”
“but not her face”
“So how long before she reappears?”
“How can i tell”
“what do I do till then ?”
“Be clean and ready to paint”
Me, my painting and the brush await her dream now.
Hands search the slim mobile
only to see it snuggled by my side
open an eye to note the time
yawn and into blanket i dive.
Few minutes later i half awake
much time it usually doesnt take
to switch on the laptop by my bed
oh and also,the texts to be read
A morning tweet,a hello on chat
and then to the mom’s call
a song selected to play in loops
finally out of bed,out of room.
Stand in the balcony,admire the day
smile lazily,as new plans I make.
And then i proceed to kitchen
am not awake yet,not without tea.
Prompted at We write Poems , Also submitted to One Shot Wednesday
He was hungry.
Not the usual “I want to eat/read/write/have sex type hungry”
He could have enough of anything he wanted – yeah, even sex too.
Yet, he had the feeling he was hungry. He wanted more.
He wanted .. Well he did not just know what did he want.
And then he met her – And evetything made sense to him in that moment
He was hungry to be troubled – no one he ever met could make him feel NOT wanted.But her looks did – her arrogance gave him a high , her indifference was his favorite food. Her words of rebuke were his song, her cruel smiles were his reward for persuing her still.
And then she decided to acknowledge his efforts – She went to him and slapped him hard. That night he slept peacefully after weeks. Next day they went for their first date.
(I would have never daredto explore my writing in this direction except for 2 people whom i have lately been reading. This is for you guys. Thanks)
I woke up smiling today.
Which made me think of the reason.
It wasn’t a dream – It was a memory it seems.
Memory of a guy stopping his car in front of me, roll down the window and say “You got a pretty dress on !. It suits you well”.
And then he went away before i could even say thank you or make anything of what happenned.
And then i had smiled.
The same way I woke up smiling.
And then i remember telling you of this incident one day.
And you had smiled the same way as that guy, and said “You always look pretty to me”.
Lonely he stands,
be it sun or rains,
he can not give up
no matter what it takes.
Blaring horns around
angry drivers in hurry
ever busy people on foot
these are his worries.
Then there are those
who flaunt arrogance
by breaking rules,
in name of ignorance.
Can you blame him then,
to take things by law book
if he wasn’t careful
how messy would roads look ?
Treat him just human
keeping regulation isn’t easy
give him a word of praise
for keeping the traffic moving.
Pass him a genuine smile
if he gets angry at you
only he ensures your safety
being the traffic police.
When i started this post, i was feeling literally on cloud 9 ! After a long long time I let myself go free, have a great conversation and just be myself – Nothing new for you ? Neither for me except that I did that in company of a wonderful person I met the first time !It was bliss beyond words.
But the smiles have faded. A sense of loss shrouds my heart. Its weird how some people become a part of your life without intending. How losing them suddenly chokes you. He did not know me but i feel i did. I adored him as much i respected him. May his soul rest in peace. The sky stole a star from the world.
You time, fate and blah blah …
why the hell you can not let my thoughts rest !
Every time i gather and sort them and bind them with sense, you have to come and explode right in the middle of it !
Now don’t dare say that I should be happy with what i get, yeah, try that tonight on me and you are doomed !
Of course I am glad to go with life’s flow but will you please let me do that without throwing pebbles into my soul ?
I am ashamed and guilty I can not be happy even with my joys , forget about considering others ! Does that appeal you ?
Hurried footsteps outside my door wake me up.
Every one was gathered around her bed,waiting for don’t know what.
I inched closer for a better look – finally understanding the looks on other faces.
I smiled, gathered a chair and sat with the rest – She sure looked like an angel while sleeping.
Written for G-Man’s Friday Flash 55
Each night i sleep, i am too tired to notice anything. I pull over the blankets to cover mw till my chin, hug my pillow and doze off in less than a minute. It wasn’t much different last night except that when i was adjusting the pillow, and thinking of you, I saw a star outide the top window of my room. No matter in what way i turned my head, i could see the dark sky but no another star. Just this one shining upon me. I don’t know why i felt special suddenly, as if you smiled on me. And i slept soon, dreaming of your face in the star.
Will you be there tonight ?
I will be looking for you.
I suddenly wanted to cook,
but not for myself this time
maybe my parents will love it
to have a special meal tonight.
So i picked some recepies i know
and knew well to make them best
and wrote each ingrediant in detail
in case i missed any of it in the end.
I invited my best friend for dinner
no harm in getting an honest opinion
on what i thought is a likeable meal
to be enjoyed well on the whole.
A curry, some lentils , and lot of spices
a special dough for the bread is made
a last minute thought dessert by mom
and i was all set to acknowledge the likes.
Apart from the under cooked curry,
every thing was perfectly done,
and i covered that disappointment of me
but brewing a perfect coffee flavour.
The dinner was fun and lively too
after a long time i showed my skills
and i would have been all so happy
if not for the piles of crckery in the sink.
Prompted @ Big Tent Poetry
3. The Torment of others by Val McDermid
(page – 554 , genre – thriller , psychological thriller , crime)
+well written psychological insights
+a wide range of characters
-Nothing in particular
Rating : 4.5/5
(- 0.5 to give away the killer name and still have 50 pages to read till the end )
2.The Secret Country by Jane johnson
(Pages – 256 , Genre – Children, magic)
+ kids, pets, magical country, villain uncle
- a little too predictable (basically its for kids till age 13)
PS : Its book 1 of the secret country triology.
Rating : 3/5
1.The Holcroft Covenant by Robert Ludlum
( Pages 494 , Genre – Spy , thriller )
+ Fast narration
+ Self revealing layers in the story
+ well crafted action scenes.
- A little confusing if you get distracted too much while reading
Rating : 4/5
Currently Reading :
Urban Shots ( 29 urban tales by 13 writers)
Faith of the Fallen by Terry goodkind
I need to kill boredom,
not that i have nothing else to do
but i still wanted something new;
I ask you for some ideas,
another attempt to make you
speak something;tired to see you mute.
You give me some hard looks
eager to let your imagination
descend into the books you read;
But also aware that will not rest
unless you provide me an object
to keep myself engrossed and busy.
So you send me off to the attic
to search for the grandmom’s album
that no one seen has seen in ages
Am glad i went off at once
without another thought to the task
now that i hold in my hand,the rewards.
This image of her and her sisters
she kept below the pillow on her bed;
i never saw her this happy till the very end.
Will you and me fade the same way
just in each other heart;or will i have
your hands to hold when i beath my last.
I might have been thinking aloud,
’cause you come and hold me close
and whisper in a surreal tone,”love you a lot”.
Your memory is not something I can’t ignore -
I do not have that much spare time.
Your words are not what make me smile or cry –
Its the meaning behind them that matters.
Your actions speak nothing to me –
I carve for the reactions they fetched out of me.
Your lessons never were to my liking –
I just miss the feeling of being cared like that.
Your approval was something i seeked –
I no longer have the same beleif on me.
You are not some one I can’t forget –
I do not want to forget you ever.
you are some one I wish i could forget –
I do not want to lose myself in the process.
Written as a part of “A river of Stones“
You to me;
I to you
You seek me
I seek you
than the need.
You want me
I want you
two poles of
You understand me
I understand you
like two people
You pamper me
I pamper you
You wish for me
I wish for you
some one else to
care and forever be.
You know of me
I know of you
time will bring
I will though
the way You will
want Me to,
Prompted @ One shoot Photography Sunday
Also Submitted to One Shot wednesday
“You are the enigmatic one”
“You can make a moment interesting in life”
“Your happiness add smiles to others”
These and few more pearls of praise spill out of my memories – the most exquisite compliments any one ever gave me !
I string them now and then, bead upon bead into a hand held necklace; to chant them every time i lose myself among doubts.
Your words never let me down ; and in turn i promise myself never to let your compliments down !
No love for languages,
but all for what you speak.
No care for the learning,
but anything you identify with.
No time for the polish,
but hope you will not mind.
No need for the bi-lingual wishes,
but thats all i got to gift you tonight.
Written for Poetry Potluck.
A line from you,
the next from me,
a word you forget,
and expect me to fill in
The spoon hits the mug
in a rhythm you devise
a tune plays on my lips
you approve it with smiles
I fill in more sounds
you stare at me shocked
suddenly fingers drum
nothing holding the flow.
A collective sigh escapes
our collaborative songs
in the dream we wove.
Prompted @ Magpie Tales
Submitted to Poetry Rally Week 37
never felt,it was first time;
‘Cause you have always been
special in my life;
its no short of a miracle,
how we can make even tear smiles.
Written as a part of “A river of Stones“
It was a harmless thought,but she knew,the results would not be.
she still wanted to test it – It might work.
Barely had she placed her moist lips on his,she was pushed away.
He slapped her hard,but she could not afford to yelp in pain.
“Bitch!” he screamed.She laughed.
Prompted by the words at 3WW
Love and care add warmth to not just your life but also to food you eat and serve
(I usually eat my food cold but today I was worried that it is not healthy. And so this thought.)
Written as a part of “A river of Stones“
About “River of Stone” : Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to pay attention to one thing every day during the month of January and write it down. We call these pieces of writing small stones. We’re especially interested in both ‘writers’ and ‘non-writers’ taking part – it’s not about the finished product, it’s about the process.